EVE Online exists? (sorry! couln’t resist, don’t pod me!)
also World of Warcraft: Retired housewives
Call of Duty: Almost retired Mall Ninja Dads
Candy Crush: Actual Grandmas
conspiracy Youtube: Grandpas
They are making games for retirees
AARP.com has a long list of games, and all the leaderboards resets everyday at midnight.
My grandma, who has dementia, and severe arthritis, has an alarm to get up at midnight to go play the games on AARP.com so she can be #1. Every night. She loves being #1.
She’s 82 years old. Just broke her hip for the 3rd time, and she asked if we can bring her laptop so she can play her games.
I’m gonna pwn your grandma no cap
Uh, every sandbox vehicle construction game?
Every factory optimization game?
I had to quit playing most of them because they each one could count as a second job.
Minecraft, Factorio, Satisfactory, Space Engineers, E.V.E, Terraria, Stardew Valley, Kerb Space Program, Don’t Starve (Together), Dragon Quest Builders 1/2, No Man’s Sky, Fallout 3/NV/4, Borderlands 3/4, Slay the Spite 1/2.
There are tons to games to last (the remaining) lifetime. Hell I would have enough with solely Factorio
Pretty sure my dad just wants to play Skyrim forever.
Wamp wamp
Sudoku’s origin story.
Old School Runescape.
Yeah they have. They’re the same fucking games as before. If you’re not a gamer by the time you’re over 65, odds are good that you’re not gonna suddenly become one.
They’re playing MMOs. I am currently playing a game with a group of people and the ages range from 35 to 80. Game has been operating for 24 years at this point. Several retired during that time.
And how has Eve been treating you?
Worse than his boss but that’s a given.
Why would retired people need their own video games?
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What makes a game “for retired people”?
What a silly premise.
Serious answer? By making a game that targets a vulnerable group that preys on loneliness and declining mental capacity. This speaks less about “what games would old people play and enjoy” and more about “how to leverage abusive techniques to maximize the extraction of wealth”.
Candy crush is already a thing
Oof. I can respect your cynicism though.
My thoughts as well.
Old people like the same shit as young people when it comes to gaming. Ever played D&D?
Ok brb making a game about being a self righteous asshole boomer who is always correct and its actually everyone else’s fault that he has no friends and his wife and kids dont speak with him.
Call it Boomer Shooter, but its not an FPS, its actually primarily a series of small adventure/puzzle levels with complex branching dialogue options.
You get points for shooting down ideas you either didn’t think of first or don’t like because they might imply that you aren’t perfect.
The rules are made up and the points don’t matter beyond a high score at the end of the bad ending.
The good ending happens when you don’t get that many points, despite the game constantly handholding you and telling you thats what you should focus on.
There, enjoy your retirement.
EDIT:
The DLC will add the ability to play as a privileged white woman who gets points for morally policing everyone around her but herself, spreading misinformation, and guilt tripping people who trust her.
EDIT 2:
In case I’m not being clear enough, a Boomer that wants a video game for their enfeebled retired ass can fucking make it themselves, and/or possibly think about why it is the case that the industry has enshittified to the extent that it has.
Who is it exactly thats in charge of all these enshittifying gaming companies again? Oh right yeah, its your 401ks, teaching children how to love their gambling addiction, so that you can retire well.
I mean, it can’t be that hard, right? To make a toy that satifies Boomers? Just bootstrap it yourselves, I’m sure you’ll discover that if you just shake a few hands and burn a few hundred million dollars, it’s just about showing up and doing the job well, or something.
… you want a Boomer game?
It already exists, its Candy Crush, its Words with Friends, its Scrabble Go, its Solitaire.
That’s not even an insult, that’s just literally market research data.
I think it’s pretty telling that so many of the people they talk to and a lot of the focus of the article isn’t really about older gamers, it’s about their money.
The opportunity is substantial. The 40+ segment in the US is on track to grow from $19 billion in 2022 to $43 billion by 2030, a 132% expansion at a moment when the rest of the industry is shrinking. These are players with the most disposable income, the longest gaming literacy, and the highest brand loyalty.
I’m in that “40+ segment” and I suspect part of the “problem” these companies face is that older gamers have seen the enshitification of so many of the brands we love. Our tolerance for bullshit is basically gone at this point. Micro transactions, season passes, fucking ads in games, all of that bullshit is a quick way to not get our money.
I also suspect “brand loyalty” is basically gone for the same reason. As a kid, I looked for the Electronic Arts logo. If I saw this logo on a game package, I knew I was looking at a good game. I haven’t bought an EA game in years. I don’t expect to buy an EA game any time soon and I basically ignore everything they do. Sure, if a trailer for Starflight 3 dropped, I’d sit up and take notice. I’d also expect it to be an enshitified mess wearing the skin of a beloved series to sucker me in, before pouncing on my wallet.
So ya, maybe just make good games and older gamers will inevitably buy them. I mean, Larian can pretty much say, “hi we’re making…” and I’ll have my wallet out and be pulling bills before they get any further. And maybe that’s your “brand loyalty”. Game companies who make good games and aren’t private equity firms wearing the dead skin suits of brands we used to love.
This sums up my thoughts on it, too.
Before reading it, I was ready to come back here expecting to say I’m glad someone’s thinking about older gamers and joke that I feel attacked (being grey and not feeling my age), but then I saw it went down the “but their juicy wallets” angle and… I am Jack’s complete lack of surprise.
They’re not even couching it in more palatable terms. So now I expect it will be just a patronising nostalgia IP reboot fest designed to extract as much cash as possible. And almost certainly subscription-based, because what company doesn’t these days.
Good luck with that: older people may have more disposable income, but they also have years of experience with marketing and FOMO tricks, along with the exploitation and butchering of franchises they once loved for a quick buck.
So now I expect it will be just a patronising nostalgia IP reboot fest designed to extract as much cash as possible.
Ya, this is one of the big turn-offs for me. For example, I really liked Prince of Persia: Sands of Time back in the day. I’ve got exactly zero interest in the remake. Ubisoft’s logo now looking like a neat pile of dogshit, viewed from above, is pretty apt.
Prince of Persia is a great example! Did Lemmings ever get a reboot? 😄
I kind of want to see what modern game developers can do with old C64 games like Parallax or Head Over Heels, or Amiga ones like Cannon Fodder or Sensible Soccer, but time has taught me 2 things:
- Be very careful what you wish for. You may get it in the worst way possible.
- Nostalgia is sometimes best left in the past.
I do like that GOG, etc, do their game preservation thing. Seeing games like Hexen, Rise of the Triad and Wing Commander running on modern CPUs is kinda fun, but often confirms point 2 above.
I still break out the old Sierra games (specifically the Quest for Glory series) from time to time. Those are still a lot of fun and ScummVM makes them run damn near perfectly.
I am not quite in that demographic but getting pretty close. I’ve bought maybe a game a year for a very long time now. Most non-indie stuff is complete and utter trash. If I see a AAA publisher logo, I take it as a sign that it’s not worth my time or money.
Most non-indie stuff is complete and utter trash.
Ya, it’s telling that some of my favorite games these days all started as indie games. I do worry about them as they get in bed with larger producers, but I also understand the draw. E.g. I still love Valheim, but they were Embracer’d by private equity. And I’m waiting for that relationship to push them to shit all over their players. Though I understand that publisher backing lets them focus more on development and less on the marketing and distribution of the game.
Games for the unemployed? Have you not heard of MMOs?
Love how Gustafsson is focused on the money of old gamers.
I’m 47. I would be the prime target for this sort of campaign. Except a I’ve been boycotting shitty companies for so long any nostalgia I might have felt at the thought buying consoles, or a game published by EA, Activision, or Blizzard has been dead for more than a decade.
The enshitification of triple AAA titles by MBAs has driven me away from the space. Keep fucking slapping surcharges on EVERYTHING; day one dlc, microtransactions, always online DRM, the ability to revoke access to the games we paid for, because we never really owned it.
I will continue to ignore your shitty products and purchase small indie titles on PC that take risks and innovate. Withholding my money and refusing to purchase your shit will provide publishers with a sense of pride and accomplishment for retaining their customer base.
Video game companies are using their product to extract as much profit as possible, mostly young men.
Gambling companies are using their product to extract as much profit as possible, mostly young men.
There isn’t enough money to satisfy both of them, so eventually they will literally go to war, and try to genocide the other. Sounds like it might have potential for a screenplay.
Did you manage to retire by 47? Seems like an outlier more than their prime target.
