If you can afford to gamble $25 on the advice of an Internet stranger, do this:
Buy a 4lb bag of Vital Wheat gluten. (Can be aquired on Anthony’s Goods website.)
Mix it about 50-50 with water, and just… do stuff with it.
Example1: Mix 350 grams of gluten powder with 450 grams of water (Optional 5 grams of MSG) and stir it together until it’s a big blob. Pick it up and stretch it in every possible direction and knead the absolute shit out of it. Divide into 7 portions, and place on a greased cookie sheet. Bake at 250°F/120°C for about 2 hours. You now have a 50 grams of protein blob for each day of the week, to be sliced and dovided however you wish throughout the day.
Example2: Get a ripping hot skillet and dump in Some™ gluten powder and Approximately® twice as much water and vigorously stir it with, like, a fork or something like that, and dump some cooking oil on it as an afterthought, and dump some spices in it and boil off all the water to make a fake Taco meat mix. If it sticks, take it off the heat and add a splash of water to unstick it, and it’s okay to jave juicy taco seitan crumbles. You actually cannot fuck this up.
I’ve made the seitan recipe printed on the back of Bob’s Red Mill brand vital wheat gluten, and it had a taste and texture similar to bologna. It was actually pretty nice cold in a sandwich, and fried up in a pan. If that doesn’t float your boat, there’s about a billion ways to prepare beans, you’re bound to like one of those.
I’m a fussy autist too, and I absolutely love soya, probably because it’s so bland and umami. I used to make my own soya burgers. Tofu is lovely chopped, mixed with sweetcorn and thyme, wrapped in filo pastry parcels and baked. Apparently you can make tofu at home with lemon juice as the curdling agent. If I ever get my own place, I’d love to try it.
Tempeh looks like brains, and I spent weeks looking at the jar before I plucked up the courage to try it. It turns out it’s really nice just breaded and baked. But the ones jarred in water taste better than the vacuum packed ones, which I’ve found to have more bitterness, even after steaming or boiling.
Making tempeh at home is a lot trickier as it uses fermentation.
Ironically, switching to a plant based diet in 2014 actually expanded the variety of food I ate by A LOT. Before that it was just potatoes and more potatoes, and if my executive dysfunction didn’t get me, maybe a bit of boiled veg.
Seitan is pretty good, my only issue with it in a sando or with noodles is like… you’re basically having wheat with wheat, it’s too much for me. But served with vegetables and sauce, it’s probably my favorite meat replacement
I might have to go vegetarian if this is the future of meat thanks to Trump.
Come, join us, as we feast on seitan.
Hail Seitan!
If you can afford to gamble $25 on the advice of an Internet stranger, do this:
Buy a 4lb bag of Vital Wheat gluten. (Can be aquired on Anthony’s Goods website.)
Mix it about 50-50 with water, and just… do stuff with it.
Example1: Mix 350 grams of gluten powder with 450 grams of water (Optional 5 grams of MSG) and stir it together until it’s a big blob. Pick it up and stretch it in every possible direction and knead the absolute shit out of it. Divide into 7 portions, and place on a greased cookie sheet. Bake at 250°F/120°C for about 2 hours. You now have a 50 grams of protein blob for each day of the week, to be sliced and dovided however you wish throughout the day.
Example2: Get a ripping hot skillet and dump in Some™ gluten powder and Approximately® twice as much water and vigorously stir it with, like, a fork or something like that, and dump some cooking oil on it as an afterthought, and dump some spices in it and boil off all the water to make a fake Taco meat mix. If it sticks, take it off the heat and add a splash of water to unstick it, and it’s okay to jave juicy taco seitan crumbles. You actually cannot fuck this up.
Enjoy.
Will have to see if I like that, that sounds strange but probably better than Trump meat
I’ve made the seitan recipe printed on the back of Bob’s Red Mill brand vital wheat gluten, and it had a taste and texture similar to bologna. It was actually pretty nice cold in a sandwich, and fried up in a pan. If that doesn’t float your boat, there’s about a billion ways to prepare beans, you’re bound to like one of those.
I’m a picky eater (thanks, autism) but I’m sure I will find something that works for me. Thanks for the tips
I’m a fussy autist too, and I absolutely love soya, probably because it’s so bland and umami. I used to make my own soya burgers. Tofu is lovely chopped, mixed with sweetcorn and thyme, wrapped in filo pastry parcels and baked. Apparently you can make tofu at home with lemon juice as the curdling agent. If I ever get my own place, I’d love to try it.
Tempeh looks like brains, and I spent weeks looking at the jar before I plucked up the courage to try it. It turns out it’s really nice just breaded and baked. But the ones jarred in water taste better than the vacuum packed ones, which I’ve found to have more bitterness, even after steaming or boiling.
Making tempeh at home is a lot trickier as it uses fermentation.
Ironically, switching to a plant based diet in 2014 actually expanded the variety of food I ate by A LOT. Before that it was just potatoes and more potatoes, and if my executive dysfunction didn’t get me, maybe a bit of boiled veg.
Seitan is pretty good, my only issue with it in a sando or with noodles is like… you’re basically having wheat with wheat, it’s too much for me. But served with vegetables and sauce, it’s probably my favorite meat replacement
Switch to rye bread and rice noodles and problem solved.