My sister has 5 children. I have no idea how she manages, but she never sees her husband. He’s always working triple overtime.
How sad of a life is that? Why do they do that? Do they hate spare time and thinking so much that they prefer to literally drown in work?
fear of death and the need for legacy
Legacy of what? Being broke and overworked? And how do kids help me with the fear of death (probably more the fear of dying, not death. Unless you’re a religious nutjobs on top of it)
Questions over questions 😁
Look up ‘quiverfull’
Ugh yes. Didn’t know the term but…ugh. I despise religious nutjobs of all kind. Why is Religion not finally declared a mental illness and treated…
Childcare costs are by far the highest expense for families with children under 5, according to LendingTree’s analysis. Parents in Hawaii pay an average of $40,342 per year, whereas families in Maryland and Massachusetts pay $36,419 and $34,247, respectively.
So more than half of the cost is childcare. Why?
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025/mar/24/childcare-daycare-cost-absurdly-expensive
Because there’s no public system. Which is understandable because as the president said, US can’t afford childcare. It needs money to bomb children in other countries.
Holy shit that’s literally my whole gross income 🤯
I think that’s on purpose. Gross income is probably the maximum some parents are willing to pay. You’re basically not making any money but you’re avoiding gaps in your CV. After 6-7 years the kid goes to school so childcare costs go away but you kept your job so now you’re back to making money (instead of looking for a job after 5-6 years of unemployment). If you charge people more it makes more sense economically to stay at home and save money. If you charge them less you’re leaving money on the table. Same as with healthcare private system is trying to squeeze everything it can out of people.
Childcare costs halve or something but they don’t go away. You still need care coverage for an hour to four hours every workday, all school holidays, summers, sick days, half days, snow days… and that’s assuming your job doesn’t operate outside school hours (which in the US change every few years as children progress), or expect you to be on call.
Usually the type of careers with that kind of flexibility are either top of the field or the very bottom, so it feels kind of hopeless, damned if you work, damned if you don’t.
I know things have changed but when I was 7 and started primary school (in Poland) I would walk alone to school and be perfectly fine staying alone at home. I would also spend school holidays and summers running around outside all day with other kids. At what age it is considered that kids don’t need any babysitters or childcare today?
But yes, the costs probably don’t go to 0 but even if they halve you still start making some money so it still may make sense to make next to nothing for couple of years in order to save your career.
The cost is insane I agree, but more than that, people simply do not have the time to properly raise children anymore due to that expense. It’s the time much more than the money that is making the kids suffer long term, if none of the parents are ever around or are preoccupied with other things, you end up with insane psychopathic assholes like Donald Trump.
I consider myself fortunate to make what I make but also get to balance it by walking my kids to school in the morning, picking them up in the afternoon, making dinners, and just be around. If I wanted, I could take more high-profile work and be out of the house and make double what I make now, but the expense of not seeing my kids and not being a part of their lives is not worth it to me. When they’re teenagers and want nothing to do with me because I’m embarrassing, then we will see, but for now, I am more value to them being around.
Wonderful! It’s just a rearrangement of priorities, somewhere they got all mixed up, and the kids have suffered tremendously for it. Parenting can’t really be offloaded no matter how attractive it sounds, it might work for some kids, but kids really need and deserve attention and care, I saw that in myself I wasn’t really capable of giving that much of my time and attention and patience so I chose not to have kids. People shouldn’t have to make that choice though really, everyone should be able to have kids if they want, although I think these families with 15+ kids are really fucking ridiculous and extremely selfish.
Pretty sure Trump was born rotten. Having rich parents just made him worse.
Snip snip
And I get spit at for saying kids are too expensive (And time-absorbing) for us. And we’re not even in the US. And also have more money than we could ever spend. But we love to have all day long to us and ourselves. Traveling and just enjoying life. A kid? No way…into this broken world?
And also have more money than we could ever spend.
Would you be willing to support some organizations on opencollective? For the greater good.
I Wouldn’t touch anything US-american, but we do donate a lot and help a lot. Locally mostly.
Great, thanks! Well, i mostly have local organizations in my list for once i get more financially fluid (and also liberapay) but they likely don’t apply to you.
Don’t forget the FOSS 😊 Also doesn’t always have to be financial, I do work in a homeless shelter and such. I was lucky, many weren’t.
I’d like to sign up for the waiting list for donations pls
We help people we know and see. Like in those shelters. Or people broken by abuse in whichever form. But in real life noone knows. We look random and probably even poor. And if we do help, it’s anonymous. Because if we wouldn’t… Well 😔
I feel so guilty for bringing mine into this madness
That’s silly. It’s already done. No need for guilt. Maybe your kid is happy for existing. Just be a good parent now. But you probably are if you have such feelings 😉
I know a dumbass or 2 who are expecting soon. At this point you’re not even using any kind of sense in how you live.
Poor children will be American citizens
…or will they…
Depends on the color, these days
And that’s why birthrate has dropped to 1.6%
And raising kids sucks even without the prohibitive financial cost.
Raising kids sucks because modern society is incompatible with human-ness in general.
Its gone down? I remember back in 2008 and 2009 the discussion was that raising a kid 0-18 would cost around $400k. Maybe that was a california specific number but it always sounded about right.
