You and I have very different definitions of sin
That’s not a sin.
Lunatics clearly consider that a sin but no normal person would.
Jesus ALLOWED himself to be crucified because of our sins.
He noped out.
dude that’s some weak sauce in the meme
what of dropping nukes on Japan, or gassing jews or the jews obliterating their neighbors, or the genocide of native inhabitants by immigrant colonists, or shooting protestors or ad infinitum.
Yeah OPs is way funnier than yours. Sorry boss.
Ty
> dropping nukes on Japan
> Jewish genocide
> Palestinian genocide
> native inhabitant genocide
> shooting protestors
It’s officially canon that God doesn’t see these as sins because he’s a cunt.
DEUS VULT!
I love when people use these tame little examples of sinful fetishes when there is an entire galaxy of god-awful things people get off to in this world. I think Jesus let himself be taken out cause there’s not enough eye bleach in the universe…
“WTF? I’m going to get crucified for little Timmy, when he beats off on his dad’s OnlyFans account in 2022? That’s a no.”
cranking your hog to questionable material is not prohibited in the ten commandments
Or a guy rap*ng a child then murder it. No way that was real, he simply landed in this garden orgy and joined in. Deciding, orgies are nice, gotta protect the homies.
Bold of you to assume that was a sin
Well it was a guy. Makes it gay. You know how that mythology feels about gay.
I know that the Old Testament spat out some dubiously translated shit that was abolished by the new covenant and Jesus had jack and shit to say about gays sooooooooo
Why on earth would a christian care about that? You know in the first comic superman couldnt fly? Batman’s gadgets were things like a pocket tape recorder?
bah, go pick a fight somewhere else
Im explaining the thing. What it means to them. Modern comic books are a close analogue to how ancient people understood their mythologies. How modern people understand their mythologies.
You have these multiple iterations/retellings/translations if these stories with the ‘same’ characters coming from different cultural contexts. Why does the original necessarily take primacy?
Fuck, even ancient rome and its empire, where the big part of christian myth takes place is largely mythologized at this point. There is a verifiable real version that existed and we can verify many details of, but what is remembered and used is largely a fantasy. Even the aesthetics are not ‘true’ to any period or popular style of the original. Go show a ‘return’ statue pervert an ancient statue of venus with what chemical analysis tells us is the original paint job, tits and all. He’ll try to fucking kill you.
The original story does not matter. Even the ‘return’ is not a desire to reproduce the original, it is a desire to create an imagined world without the courage to admit new things are possible or we can have better. Its an emotional aesthetic not an actual reasoning.
Any belief about any oft reinterpreted emotoonally charged body of knowledge is the same. Nobody actually cares about the truth. I take it from the response youre a christian. If a middle aged palestinian dude wearing plants on his head descended from the sky on a beam of light accompanied by a heavenly choir of such beauty you fell to your knees and wept, then grabbed a child and told you in a language you had never heard but somehow understood told you to rape that child, would you? Fucking of course not. Youre probably not a fucking monster. Youd find a reason that isnt really your messiah. Because it isnt. Thats not what you believe in. I hope thats not what you believe in; harder than id like to assume that these days.
Jesus be like “oh god they’re gettin creative”
You know, it’s kind of refreshing to think that somebody tried to think of the most horrific sexual perversion imaginable, and could only come up with Waluigi hentai.
c/wholesome
The hardest thing to do is invent an entirely new perversion.
I put 2 rats, a clove of garlic and a 1/4 cup of heavy cream in my Ninja blender, then funnel the resulting mixture into my ass while an obese clown massages my taint.
That’s just a Juggalo Jiggle.
I think the bloodhound gang is still ahead of you on that one.
They probably could have thought of worse, but then it goes from being funny to being depressing.
There are produced movies with far more sinister perversions than that.
The actual worst thing is probably known to and performed by a select few.
And they are usually depressing movies.
I was going to take a stab at guessing, but I realized I was doing too good a job and decided not to make anybody else read that.
When I was a teen I used to sometimes play “what’s the worst thing I can possible imagine” as a kind of mental exercise. I really, really wish I could undo the years of playing this game, now.
Thank you for your prescience or at least sacrifice.
Also, how is that a sin?
It is central to most major religions the need to control the sex lives of their followers.
The Bible doesn’t say that masturbation is a sin, but since Christianity is a religion, they cannot permit their followers to control their own sex lives.
As a result, most sexual expression is considered a sin, and they will use any excuses or lies possible to make sure it stays that way.
To add to this, the most closely related passage in the bible is in Genesis 38, where this guy Onan was ordered to have children with his brother’s widow so the child could inherit his brother’s estate.
This seems to me a bit outside your usual family obligations, and so did the guy because while he engaged in sexual intercourse, he “spilled his seed” on the ground to avoid fulfilling this familial duty.
God didn’t think much of that and killed him on the spot.
The tale is usually linked more to the “sin” of contraception, but it seems like a much more pragmatic story: it’s best you knock up your brother’s widow than have everyone start a war over the spoils.
And the Lord sayeth, “creampie your sister-in-law or I’ll fucking kill you.”
his brother’s widow
Tamar is an interesting character in her own right, and worthy of being named.
After this, she’s supposed to marry Judah’s (Onna’s dad’s) third son, but considering he just lost two, he doesn’t want it to go through. He sends her home to her parents and blows her off when she asks when the marriage is going to happen. (The Bible has a lot of verses about leaving parts of your field unharvested for widows. Not having a husband = hellish poverty.)
She eventually gets fed up with this, disguises herself as a temple prostitute, Judah shows up, has sex with her, and gives her a family emblem as an IOU.
Later, she ends up pregnant, so the village elders drag her before Judah for punishment (he’s her father-in-law still technically.) They are going to put her to death, and Judah asks her who knocked her up. She produces his family emblem, and he has to be “well, you got me, I guess I have to take care of you.
Ok that’s one fucked up family. Out of all of them, god only saw fit to smite one of them? Sheesh.
Fun fact: In the Indigenous Australian society I’m most familiar with, if you’re a man and your brother dies, his wife is now your wife, and you have his familial obligations. This is to ensure that his family will be cared for.
This seems to me a bit outside your usual family obligations
It was actually the law to do that, IIRC. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yibbum
Well the article says that
the brother of a man who died without children is permitted and encouraged to marry the widow. However, if either of the parties refuses to go through with the marriage, both are required to go through a ceremony known as halizah, involving a symbolic act of renunciation of their right to perform this marriage.
So, permitted and encouraged, but not forced into it. Except by god it seems.
I always read it as being about defying the law (backed by divine enforcement):
His father commanded him to “… fulfill [his] duty to her as a brother-in-law to raise up offspring for [his] brother”, which implies that this was considered a legitimate obligation. His transgression, then, was that he pulled out “to keep from providing offspring for his brother”, actively refusing to fulfill that obligation. In that reading, it’s a tale about obeying the orders and customs of your elders.
Of course, these don’t have to be exclusive: “These norms exist for a reason, so you should damn well obey them.”
You’re not supposed to have fun. Also you need to make a baby with every sperm. As explained by the Great Sages here:
It won’t load for me, but I assume this will link to Monty Python’s “Every Sperm is Sacred”?
It is. I changed it now. Maybe you want to try again?
Nice! Classic skit, perfectly applied.
I tried again, still didn’t work for me. Could be my layers of VPN, or I might need to update my Lemmy client, though.
Not working for me either.
He was probably relieved when the next sin would come up and would just be waluigi hentai again. In fact it was most likely waluigi hentai that made him reconsider when he was about to give up on humanity. Who knows?
Or saw a guy jacking it to wario hentai and was like ‘this isnt so much a sacrifice as an escape’.
Nah after that he just wanted to die…
Jesus can get off his high horse. I bet he has a sordid browser history himself.
Judea had no age of consent i did nothing wrong!
-Jesus
Mostly feet.
John 13:4-7:
so he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples’ feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him. He came to Simon Peter, who said to him, “Lord, are you going to wash my feet?” Jesus replied, “You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand.”
Giggity
Hell, what about Mark 14:51. What was Jesus doing with this naked guy on the night he was betrayed?
(45 So when he came, he went up to him at once and said, “Rabbi!” and kissed him. 46 Then they laid hands on him and arrested him. 47 But one of those who stood near drew his sword and struck the slave of the high priest, cutting off his ear. 48 Then Jesus said to them, “Have you come out with swords and clubs to arrest me as though I were a rebel? 49 Day after day I was with you in the temple teaching, and you did not arrest me. But let the scriptures be fulfilled.” 50 All of them deserted him and fled.)
51 A certain young man was following him, wearing nothing but a linen cloth. They caught hold of him, 52 but he left the linen cloth and ran off naked.
naked guy
Neaniskos in the original Greek, not just a boy but a little boy
Rope play/shibari, for sure.
Jesus only saw Every Sin SO FAR…
This depends on what sect of Christianity you believe in. If you’re one that believes that everything is already predetermined, than yeah, this Jesus character would have seen everything to come, in regards of sin. If you don’t believe in a predetermined life, than you would have probably carried a huge burden of guilt for something that you never knew was true or not. But the people around you kept on speaking as if it was true, even though they wouldn’t or couldn’t provide solid evidence of such a thing happening.
Anyway… Do your best to be a good person, treat people how you would want to be treated, and don’t hold religion to be, the end all be all of life, as we know it. No one can fully prove or disprove the existence or absence of a deity or deities.
I can only get off by pretending he’s real and watching me getting off whether alone or otherwise. “Fuck yeah Jesus, watch me cum. Don’t look away! Look in my eyes while I cum!”
i believe in the one where on a hill named golgotha jesus exploded into a shower of low quality wine (we really have gotten a lot better at wine since jesus) and crackers that the vatican has been trying to bury in a cave for millenia. it’s in mark 16 or something.
i don’t worship that one, i just believe in that one. it’s more fun.
It being predetermined doesn’t necessarily decrease the anxiety. For example, you might just be one of the unelect, destined for hell.
Right, but Jesus is also God, so why would he need to “see” the things he’s already well aware of?
Oh that’s right, none of it makes any sense.
