• alsimoneau@lemmy.ca
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    1 day ago

    The 2 big factors are level of activity and kids. They will drain the life out of you.

  • But_my_mom_says_im_cool@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    Im 42 and im just happy i have Head full of thick, long, black hair without a single grey. And I look more attractive than I ever did. I hated looking younger when I was in my 20s and 30s but I love it now. I don’t think I have a wrinkle more than i did in high school.

    Im poor as shit and hate my job, but I have my hair!

    • NotASharkInAManSuit@lemmy.world
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      13 hours ago

      Oddly enough, I went bald and grey and it was the best thing that ever happened to me. I’m so damned sexy being bald with grey facial hair, it’s not fair. I’m also told I still look mid 20’s, which I do not understand, but I do not argue with.

    • rat@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      1 day ago

      Wow, you’re the complete opposite of my partner. She’s 23 and has about 20% gray hair. Apparently runs in the family because her uncle was fully gray by his college graduation.

  • NottaLottaOcelot@lemmy.ca
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    2 days ago

    Your 40s are where your life situations and choices seem to catch up to you

    In your 20s people largely look young and energetic, regardless of whether they exercise, how they eat, whether they smoke, etc.

    By the 40s, the smokers look terrible, the people with poor diet and exercise aren’t no longer getting away with it as their metabolism slows, etc. These are the years where you start to see the trajectories diverge.

    By the 60s, I see people who are as spry as they ever were, and people who are resigned to the end being near.

      • potpotato@lemmy.world
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        24 hours ago

        Sarcopenia generally progresses in your 30s to where a rule-of-thumb is the behaviors and muscle mass you make by age 40 is an indicator of mobility and bone density in late life.

        • Shellofbiomatter@lemmus.org
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          23 hours ago

          Yeah, but that is very heavily effected by lifestyle choices rather than something completely outside of personal control like metabolism. Metabolism itself doesn’t slow down, the results of not taking care of their health are catching up.

          The fact that there are enough people who fail to take care of their health that it has created a correlational relationship or a rule of thumb, doesn’t mean it’s something that it’s supposed to happen or outside of their control aka metabolism slowing down.

          Propagating the metabolism slowing down stereotype creates a self feeding loop where people who still can do much to improve their health. Become complacent, because it’s something that’s supposed to happen anyway and the more people who succumb to that the more it strengthens that stereotype.

    • explodicle@sh.itjust.works
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      2 days ago

      Millennial: “Socialism is my retirement plan!”

      [proceeds to participate in no direct action whatsoever]

  • TrackinDaKraken@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    Mid-forties are a decision point. It’s when you decide to either get healthy, and stay healthy the rest of your life, or… you don’t.

    Your body starts falling apart faster if you don’t maintain it. Unlike the years before, the health losses are forever.

    Fair warning.

    • alchemist2023@lemmy.world
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      14 hours ago

      massively reduced alcohol consumption in my late forties, dropped 20Kg. significantly better for it going into my 50s. probably could do more exercise but I’m 80kg with 32" waist. I’m happy in my body now. 💯 decision time. I’ve seen friends who made the choice and those who didn’t and the difference is stark. one is dead and I didn’t think that would start happening to me in my 50s… RIP Paul

    • partial_accumen@lemmy.world
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      22 hours ago

      Your body starts falling apart faster if you don’t maintain it.

      There’s a corollary here that I don’t see anyone talking about. If you set a good plan to maintain your body fitness from say your mid 30s on, one day you’ll be doing that same reasonable workout routine and then you hurt yourself because its too much. Yesterday it was fine, the prior 15 years it had been fine, but now its not, and you have an injury you need 3 to 6 months to recover from. You think its a fluke and, once healed, you go back to your fitness routine and you injury yourself in a different way. Another 3 to 6 months of recovery.

      There appears to be a need to modify or abandon parts of your fitness routine as you get older, but there’s no guidebook on what to stop doing and when, nor what to be doing instead.

      • iegod@lemmy.zip
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        19 hours ago

        I feel like this is like tech debt, it’s usually a result of neglect in other areas that are easy to dismiss or overlook. Stretching, foam rolling, staying on top of rest and recovery, avoiding ego lifting, etc. I think you can definitely course correct but it gets harder to do so the further you stray.

      • Buddahriffic@lemmy.world
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        20 hours ago

        My guess is as you get older, those support muscles that help keep everything in place also need work. Also, bad form habits are more likely to rear their head as time goes on.

        So the people who didn’t perfect their form, the ones who use tricks to lift what they do (like a curl you can only complete if you start out my building up momentum on the lower part to get through the upper part), the ones who only work their major muscles, those are most likely to get hurt.

        Though there’s also wear and tear on your non-muscle infra, like your bones, joints, tendons, and cartilege. If you keep pushing for heavier weights, you put more and more strain on those. They can improve somewhat with training but they aren’t like muscles where straining them to the point of failure and tearing encourages the body to build more and age doesn’t help there either, especially if you develop arthritis or something that further weakens that support infra.

      • Deacon@lemmy.world
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        2 days ago

        Same but cycling. Stumbling into a workout that I look forward to was game changing.

        • mursejoy@lemmy.zip
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          2 days ago

          That is me with running. I feel like I could do a zone two run forever. Just such a refreshing activity.

          • Asetru@feddit.org
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            2 days ago

            I ran. It took me a while, but I started to enjoy it. Then my achilles tendon and knee started to hurt and I stopped for a short while until it would get better.

            That was over a year ago and I still can’t walk properly when getting out of bed. Friend said I need to lose weight to be able to run again. Well, yeah, how the fuck is that supposed to happen then?

            • quarkquasar@lemmy.world
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              2 days ago

              Gotta work on that diet. Best way to lose weight.

              Unless you’re already eating the perfect diet, then I have no idea. I suppose it would be time for a doctor at that point.

            • ClockworkOtter@lemmy.world
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              2 days ago

              Do some resistance training to restrengthen your legs, and start building stamina through cycling (standing or outdoor). Cycling is great because it’s possible to go from extremely low intensity (barely faster than walking pace) to vomit intensity with no change in impact.

            • Dozzi92@lemmy.world
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              2 days ago

              Hey, I run a lot, but in the mornings when I wake up I have the achilles tightness. I get up and the first thing I do is stretch out my calves and my hamstrings. Just bent over on the night stand, or leg up on a stool on the bathroom when I’m brushing my teeth. I’ll notice that crepitus in the achilles while going downstairs, but after I’ve kind of “warmed up” for the day, it’s all gone. As far as I can tell, the condition itself is basically the only harm done, and that it kinda is what it is.

              The knees, I tend to be more careful of. Had some ITBS recently, and so would do some post run stretching focused on that area that was helpful.

              I was probably about 20lbs heavier when I decided to get back into shape. I’m now “not overweight” (what a goal!), but still have issues with the achilles, and so I just kinda shrug, is what it is. I will say, when I started to get back into running I’d have the normal shin/knee pains, and getting fitted for shoes at a local running place, and ultimately going with their suggestion, which was a pair of shoes I never, ever would’ve bought before, was helpful with my stride and not feeling pain while running. I’ve since put probably close to 1000 miles on the shoes and need to get new ones, but that seems to constantly end up being a tomorrow thing.

            • I_Fart_Glitter@lemmy.world
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              2 days ago

              This happened to me and I was under weight at the time. It did eventually go away, but I’m not risking another couple years of painfully stepping out of bed. Brisk walking is fine.

            • Chaos_99@lemmy.world
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              2 days ago

              Started in my mid 30s. I was never good at it, but I started to enjoy it, when my knee started to act up. Doctor said it was because of an old issue from a motorcycle accident and I could either have surgery with just a 50% chance of success or drop running. As I was doing (amateurish)Triathlon training at the time, I dropped running and focused on cycling and swimming. I enjoy this very much now and even get decent progress. I’m approaching mid-40s now and I hope I can do it much longer still.

          • ellieficent@reddthat.com
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            2 days ago

            I can only stay in zone 2 for a few minutes, but it’s amazing. Then it’s zone 3, which is fine… but within a mile of starting, it’s above that and I have to walk, let it drop and then start off again. I wish I could keep it in zone 2 or even 3.

            I’ve been running for 12 years, 3-5x a week 3-5km a time and am not overweight… when does it get better/easier? I’m starting to think it’s just not for me, even though I enjoy it.

            • Telodzrum@lemmy.world
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              2 days ago

              Zones refer to heart rate. Zone 2 is 60-70% of your maximum heart rate.

              Think a distance runner putting out light effort.

              • compostgoblin@piefed.blahaj.zone
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                2 days ago

                Ah gotcha, thanks! I’ve heard you should run at a pace at which you could still keep a conversation going. Probably gets to the same idea

        • naeap@sopuli.xyz
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          2 days ago

          Care to share your workout regime?

          I have a real problem of keeping it up for more than 2 weeks…

          3 hours a week sounds manageable though

          • shittydwarf@sh.itjust.works
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            2 days ago

            Not who you asked but I think the absolute best bang for your buck would be a simple barbell program. 531 for Beginners you could run this program for a year and It will completely change your physique. To make a dead simple I would install the boostcamp app and use it to track your sets/reps/progress, it has instructions for the exercises which are easy to learn

            • naeap@sopuli.xyz
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              2 days ago

              Thank you very much for the input

              I’ve never seen myself much as a weight pusher.
              I do have some weights somewhere, but I always was a proponent of just using your body weight.
              And although a part of the motivation comes from looking good naked again, it’s not so much about that - and that’s what I’ve always associated with weight lifting.

              But I’ll look into it.
              Trying something new is always additional motivation anyway and my prejudice here is very probably wrong anyway.

              So thanks for that, will read into it :⁠-⁠)

              • shittydwarf@sh.itjust.works
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                2 days ago

                No worries I’m always happy to help someone get started. I have always been skinny 165lb runner and cyclist. But I wanted to try lifting a barbell and a few years later I’m sitting at 220lbs with a powerlifting gym in my basement feeling better than I did in my 20s.

                • naeap@sopuli.xyz
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                  2 days ago

                  In this thread already some people mention weight lifting as being helpful

                  So, I’ll look into it

                  But I don’t really want to build up mass.
                  I always liked being skinny, but defined and with strength/endurance.

                  I want the body to be able to do what I like.
                  So, going skiing or surfing and everything else.

                  I always find those mountains of muscles some bodybuilders move around strange, because they don’t seem to be really functional for sport and reduce the ability to move, when they get extreme.

                  I’m thinking of getting back into fighting sports.
                  Did Hapkido for some time in my 20s and really liked it. But my joints are aching by just holding the phone to long.
                  So doing some painful levering on them during training doesn’t sound so wise…
                  I’m currently trying to get them better with some elastic band exercises and try to build up on that, by extending the movement to also include the shoulders.

                  But obviously, this is more of a health exercise, than a real sport thing

          • I researched the shit out of various programs and you’ll quickly learn there’s a lot of advice, opinion, and lore in the world of lifting. What I concluded was that all I needed were dumbbells, a barbell (optional), access to a leg press, lat pulldown, and a seated row machines. All staples at any gym. For a home gym you can replace most of these machines with dumbbell alternates.

            The last two work muscles you just can’t access as efficiently with free weights.

            I started with whatever felt easy enough. My beginner dumbbell press weight was 20lbs, dumbbell fly was 5lbs, as examples.

            I usually do these in 3 sets of 8 repetitions taking a one minute break between sets.

            Monday – Legs + Abs

            Squat (Quads/Glutes) 45+10 Weighted Lunges (Quads) 30+0 Weighted Hip Thrust (Glutes) 60+10 Leg Press (115+10) Declined Overhead Weighted Sit-up (Abs) 10+15 Standing Calf Raises (Calves) 135+25 Dumbbell Romanian Deadlift (Hamstrings/Glutes) 35+5

            Wednesday – Push (Chest/Shoulders/Triceps + Abs)

            Dumbbell Bench Press (Chest) 45-5 Dumbbell Overhead Press (Shoulders) 25-5 Dumbbell Fly 20-5 Dumbbell Lateral Raise (Shoulders) 15-5 Hanging Leg/Knee Raise (Abs) body weight Incline Dumbbell Press (Chest) 40-5 Dumbbell Overhead Triceps Extension (Triceps) 40-5

            Friday – Pull (Back/Biceps)

            Lat Pulldown (Back) 100-15 Seated Row (Back) 100-15 Hanging Leg/Knee Raise (Abs) body weight Dumbbell Curl (Biceps) 30-5 Dumbbell Bent Over Row (Back) 45-5 Dumbbell Romanian Deadlift (Hamstrings/Glutes) 45-5 Hammer Curl (Biceps/Forearms) 25-5


            If I didn’t know what an exercise was, I looked it up here.

            https://fitbod.me/exercises/dumbbells

            The numbers are the weight I will attempt first. The +/- means if too easy, add the weight on the third set. If too hard, remove the weight after attempting the new weight.

            I try to always hit failure. Sometimes I do it, sometimes I only get five reps.

            I don’t like all the silly programs 5/3/1 Faster, Stronger, Harder, or what not. I do these and occasionally try new lifts. That’s it.

            You can do 2 sets of 6 reps at higher weights and get similar results as long as you hit failure, get enough protein, and sleep at least six hours.

            • naeap@sopuli.xyz
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              2 days ago

              Thank you very much!
              Saved your comment and will probably build up some kind of similar training for my pre surfing workout, so I don’t look like an absolute idiot, who can’t even manage to get out to the waves ;⁠-⁠)

              You’re (at least?) the second one recommending weight lifting and barbells.
              So I guess, there is something to it

              Will need to make some room in the apartment for it, as I’m not the biggest fan of going to the gym

              Until it broke, I had such a thing to do pull ups at the door frame
              Which was great to get rid of stress.
              So I just did some pull ups during work, when I needed to get rid of the adrenaline - else I’ll just end completely tensed up in the evening

              We have a room full of stuff we don’t use and call it our storage room.
              It’s a waste of space anyway. Maybe I can combine that 2 things and clean out the room, to make a little gym and reading room :⁠-⁠)

              • Oh! Then get a good pair of adjustable dumbbells and a simple adjustable bench. That’ll take very little space. Replace that pull-up bar and you’re done. You can get the Power Block for about $300.

                Just swap out any exercise I stated that needs gym equipment with a similar exercise using dumbbells. Reducing the reps from 3x8 to 2x6 will cut down the workout time significantly and yield almost identical results (if you reach failure.)

                When I’m traveling I do this:

                3x8 Walking lunges 25 lbs +5 3x8 Dumbbell Rows 25 lbs +5 3x8 Chest Press 25 lbs +0 3x8 Dumbbell Shoulder Press 20 lbs +0 3x8 Dumbbell Biceps Curls 25 lbs +0 3x8 Dumbbell Triceps Extensions 25 lbs +0

                For an easy full body workout that only requires dumbbells.

                • naeap@sopuli.xyz
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                  2 days ago

                  Comment saved again, thank you
                  Will have quite some research to-do tomorrow, to get all the input of you guys sorted out.

                  And, as now mentioned multiple times already in this thread, I’ll get rid of our fucking “storage room” of mostly trash and make some place for a little gym out of it.

                  Thank you so much for all your input!
                  All of you have really motivated me to actually do something about it :⁠-⁠)

      • zod000@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        2 days ago

        I really, really wish I could get back into it. I had some severe back injuries and now I have days where I can barely stand. Physical therapy helped a bit, but they have said that some risky (and very expensive) spine surgery is my best bet to get back to semi normal.

          • zod000@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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            2 days ago

            From what I understand, yes. I am not really onboard with that plan so I am just trying to continue doing what I can of the exercises that my physical therapist gave me and hope that it can alleviate a bit of the pain and periods of immobility.

            • shittydwarf@sh.itjust.works
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              2 days ago

              That’s rough. I’m not sure what you can/can’t do safely, but in my amateur opinion building up your posterior chain is the best thing you can do to stabilize your back, especially if you sit a lot

      • bedwyr@piefed.ca
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        2 days ago

        I just started working out again, after an injury, but I do upper body in useful activities. I’ve so much heavy work I need to do, it would be wasteful to mindlessly pump iron or whatever.

        I’m just doing like crunches and squats, and getting back into distance running, as of yet. Might add some planks and idk what else.

          • bedwyr@piefed.ca
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            2 days ago

            Thanks for the tip, I’ve had constant back problems as I switched to heating with firewood, and all the bending over just jacked up my back constantly. Better now for the moment, although crunches don’t help it, leg lifts without the upper body rising are mostly ok.

            Problem is, it takes too long to max out on leg lifts, I can literally spend 8 hours doing them on and off, same as squats. For the latter I was going to carry a log on my back, I will look like an asshole if a neighbor sees me but still.

            • shittydwarf@sh.itjust.works
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              2 days ago

              Honestly the leg lifts are kind of just a courtesy exercise. Bracing during heavy compound lifts does a pretty good job on the abs, I feel like it’s the slabs of muscle on my back and butt and hamstrings that just really stabilized my whole back/core. I saw neurosurgeon about my back and he said the muscle was preventing me feeling like a cripple and to never stop lifting

              • bedwyr@piefed.ca
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                2 days ago

                I will try bracing, I have a brace somewhere.

                The other thing, I’ve been harvesting wild leafy greens to eat masses of. Stinging nettles as of now. That is the key to building strength and muscle, it has natural steroid like compounds your body uses. Popeye knows what I’m talking about.

            • naeap@sopuli.xyz
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              2 days ago

              Because of just sitting at the computer all day, I’ve developed a hollow back and often have back pains.

              I’ve tried many different approaches of stretching and loosening muscle cramps and stuff, but just 3 weeks ago I’ve stumbled on this videos of treating such things with exercises to finally build up muscles - but also immediately releasing tension.

              At least for me, they work really well

              Shoulders/Neck
              https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Loqly-3g5xo

              Back
              https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6JCowqOSk_g

              Hip
              https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tCJEx2kfK84
              https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2v6BKBOt9hM

    • naeap@sopuli.xyz
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      2 days ago

      Yeah, I’m in my very early 40’s now and after being really skinny for all my life, I’m suddenly getting a beer belly
      Having some emotional hardships in the last 2 years didn’t help with that either.
      So, my first step will be to stop drinking and smoking daily, and start to do some sport, with surfing on holidays being the motivation.

      But every time, I’m getting back from a (usually demanding) business trip, I can’t do anything, but lay flat.
      Like many times, I’m now suffering with a fever and some sinusitis since a week as I got back home.

      Every fucking time, I’ve build up some physical condition, I’m getting sick with something and seemingly lose everything I’ve won.

      This is really frustrating and I’m not sure, how I can break that cycle.

      Obviously food (besides stopping to drink and smoke) has a major impact.
      But as my wife is a vegetarian, everything I’m cooking is usually vegetarian and healthy already.
      On business trips though, they aren’t those romantic business trips with good food, wine and just networking.
      I’m working in industry warehouses and all the restaurants around are usually rather shit.

      I usually don’t have lunch, as it makes me too tired in the afternoon. So I tried to have something like Soylent (in my case, I stuck with Plenny + milk and fresh fruits instead of just water) and that felt better.
      But it gets quite boring after a few months.

      I think, finding a goal, like being able to surf and not just die breathless on the board, is the way to go for me.
      But every time, I start for such a regime, I’m getting sick and it feels like everything was for nothing, because all the condition I’ve build up is seemingly lost again…

      Would be very much open for suggestions, because I can’t really find a way out, but I have to.
      I’m getting more and more unhappy with myself.

      • Matty_r@programming.dev
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        2 days ago

        It sounds like you could be pushing yourself too hard and too often. I find that typically happens when I’ve trained hard for about 2 months without a proper deload period, where you continue to workout but reduce the effort by like 75%. Recovery is extremely important.

        Diet can have a huge impact on your recovery and fatigue levels. You might be lacking in the nutrition area so its probably worth having a consult with a Dietician - not a nutritionist.

        Also water, it can actually help with energy levels if you drink the correct amount of water that your body needs.

        Stick with it mate, your body with adapt in time. Just take it easy on yourself and give yourself small goals that you can achieve without specific timelimits. Goals like, I’ll go to the gym twice this week or I’ll get to bed by 8pm etc etc - nothing huge but its more behavioural goals rather than saying I’m going to squat twice my bodyweight in 2 months or something.

        • naeap@sopuli.xyz
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          2 days ago

          Thank you!

          Yeah, when we go surfing - the 1-2 weeks a year, when we’re able to travel - I’m really over doing myself.

          I find it really hard to recover the older I get.

          When I was younger, I had sore muscles as well, but a day going slower was usually enough.

          Now I don’t think, I’m pushing myself, but the soreness builds up and I need days to recover.
          And I can’t enjoy the sort in my holiday.

          This year, we plan to go in September.
          So I’ll start training up with some back, hip and shoulder exercises, which I need for my back anyway.
          And then start to add up step by step.
          Hopefully that works out better :⁠-⁠)

          Diet-wise, I just need to get rid of the booze.
          I really like my beer, but I think, the party’s over now…

          • Cracks_InTheWalls@sh.itjust.works
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            1 day ago

            Edit: Apologies for the novel, might’ve gotten a bit carried away.

            I dunno your lifestyle around alcohol, but if you really enjoy your beer for the beer of it all (and it’s not a problematic habit/drinking purely for effect), moderation and mindful nursing might be the move. Take the stuff below if it makes sense when being radically honest with yourself, toss it out the window entirely if it doesn’t.

            Set one night a week (or longer interval) as beer night. Pay attention to what us other substance freaks call set and setting - go into it in an already good mood, in a space and set of circumstances that are arranged to be pleasing (for me, that’s out at a place I enjoy, preferably with something I like going on [live music, etc.]). If the set or setting (or, to quote Gen Z, the ‘vibes’) are off, do it some other time.

            If the vibes are right, order/get one really, really good beer and a water. Your goal is to make that beer last at least an hour - you can have as much water as you want. So obviously, you should pick a beer that doesn’t taste like ass as it comes to room temp.

            Take each sip very slowly - sniff it before you sip, let the beer sit on your tongue a bit, with a breath through the nose during, and sit with the finish after you sip for a little. Keep the ratio of beer sips to water sips at like 1 for every 4 or 5. Just make a mental note of stuff like the flavour, texture, finish as you’re drinking. Make note of any changes to those over the interval.

            Once the beer is finished, have something else (preferably lower sugar - soda water with a little bitters and lime, hop water with a hop profile you enjoy, whatever you’d like from what’s available. If out, ask the bartender for a suggestion, some like the challenge but be mindful of how busy it is). You don’t need to make that last an hour, but try to enjoy it slowly. Once that’s finished, decide if you want one more beer, and if so repeat the process. End at max two beers, though you can close the tab (if your ideal setting is out at some place) on a not-beer-not-water drink if you want to stretch out your time in the atmosphere.

            Life’s short, and filled with both horrors and moments of bliss. Little pleasures can enrich your time here, so long as you’re careful not to let their fingers wrap around your neck and become vices. Just have to approach them carefully with an eye to your larger goals and ideals.

            Or, if you look at this and think “Naw dawg, if I tried this it’ll end in chugging multiple beers”, ok, let the beer go. There’s myriad other little pleasures you can integrate into your life, many of which are healthier anyway.

            Edit edit: if you take the approach above and your ideal setting is out at some place, I usually follow a $1 per drink tip rule, and that calculation includes the water. It ingratiates you to the bar staff who might otherwise be peeved you sat there for two-three hours. I call it vibe insurance, lol.

            • naeap@sopuli.xyz
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              21 hours ago

              Thanks for that thought-out input :⁠-⁠)

              I’m having my fair share of substance experience as well and I don’t plan to go for a completely sober life.

              But, have practically the same idea you proposed.
              I wanna get rid of useless stress drinking and smoking, and get back to a hedonistic approach, that doesn’t senselessly kills me.

              For example with tobacco, I want to have a set of plants myself, so I can experiment with mixing different kinds and fermentation methods. And that would be the tobacco I can use for the year.
              That would be fun, self limiting and I guess, I would appreciate the smoke much more.

              For alcohol, I’m currently doing it step by step, like with opiates.
              For now I got rid of the hard stuff and we started shopping for alcohol free beer - there are at least 2 ok to good ones around here.
              So, I’d drink a “real” beer at night, but then don’t drink on and empty the bag, but switch to the alcohol free ones.
              That works usually quite well, but as with everything, there are some days with a fallback.
              But that’s ok, I want to be drunk from time to time.

              And yes, making myself something like a treat calendar is pretty much the next step :⁠-⁠)

              Thanks, seems we’re not too different ;⁠-⁠)

          • Matty_r@programming.dev
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            2 days ago

            You’ve got the right attitude - its an investment in yourself that your future self with benefit from. Good luck on your journey.

            • naeap@sopuli.xyz
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              2 days ago

              Thank you :⁠-⁠)

              I’ve already build up enough anger about myself in the last year (read: motivation for change), but due to tragic events in my family and often being sick always killed anything in the roots.

              I’ve just written my wife, that I want to get rid of our “storage room”, which is just an excuse to hoard trash anyway, and make something reasonable out of it

              I’m thinking a mix of book shelfs, a reading corner and the rest would be a place for a gym.
              Should work out space-wise.
              And getting rid of all the shit we hide behind the door is a win it itself.

              So, I guess, I have a summer project ;⁠-⁠)

      • freebee@sh.itjust.works
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        2 days ago

        I don’t know if it’s at all possible for you and depends on where you live and work, but I try to integrate “little sports” in my daily life. I try to cycle and walk to places as much as possible, instead of bus or tram. Try to use staircases instead of elevators. Etc. It can be small things, but easier to keep up than a real sporty regime.

        • naeap@sopuli.xyz
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          2 days ago

          Yeah, that’s a good thing!
          By bike I’m much faster at the warehouse with by test station and during summer I do that.
          Only in winter and with rain, I use the car.

          And you’re right, that already seems to make a difference.

          Regarding your hint with the stairs:
          Doing that already.
          In hotels I’m using the stairs to train myself a bit and at home in only in the first floor (well, 1,5 because if the entrance stairs to the house)

          It sounds childish, but since if got a SmartWatch, it motivates me, that I can see the daily/weekly statistics of how many stairs I took.
          Gamification really seems to work ;⁠-⁠)

          • freebee@sh.itjust.works
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            1 day ago

            If gamification works for you, maybe give walkscape.app a chance. Looks cool, but my phone was too crappy

            • naeap@sopuli.xyz
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              23 hours ago

              That’s nice of you, but walking isn’t a problem
              I’m often doing 18000 steps and more at work
              It’s more about doing real training exercises over a longer period of time

      • grammaticerror@lemmy.world
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        2 days ago

        You’re aware of all the changes you need to make, or at least you have a strong intuition. All of my lasting adaptations have been built on tiny increments gained over time, and only from a place of love. Be kind to yourself. Also, if you’re not already looking at it, strongly consider your sleep hygiene. Good, consistent sleep is the base of the pyramid. No lasting change, especially when it comes to one’s physical condition, can be sustained if your sleep is shit.

        • naeap@sopuli.xyz
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          2 days ago

          Thanks for the kind words :⁠-⁠)

          Sleep is probably an issue as well, yes …
          I’m often on business trips and my work schedule isn’t set in stone.
          If a customer needs help, I’ll be up at night.
          On business trips, I don’t have any free day and work through - and with often changed times, as I can’t change anything during production, but can only monitor.
          So I need to do the changes at night and if I change anything on the weekend, I need to be there at Monday morning (5-6) to monitor the production start.

          I think, changing the stuff I do in my free time, could help me to handle this work life better.

          I’ll start with little things now, as soon as I’ve got finally rid of this fucking flu…

    • hansolo@lemmy.today
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      2 days ago

      44 is the average age we start to fall apart rapidly, then again at 60. There are periods of rapid deterioration compared to the 50s or 70s.

      It’s the same thing as a growth spurt in your teens, except tragic and with crunching from the knees.

      • AA5B@lemmy.world
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        2 days ago

        Yeah, I’m at that latter age and my knees have been going for a while. However it’s just now that I’m noticing that by using my knees less I’m losing muscle fast.

        I’ve completed the spending part of lifting weights. Last summer I cleaned out my garage to turn into a gym, then over winter got some equipment. Now I need to assemble. …… then see if I can develop the habit to actually lift

  • Gerudo@lemmy.zip
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    I was one of those lucky elder millennials who got to own a home by my mid 20s. Bought cheap, the market exploded and several years later made bank off the sale of the property. I thought for once in my life I would treat myself and wife and go after our dream home. I successfully did it and it was great, but real life caught up, had to take care of my grandmother and disabled sister since no one else in the family would. It drained our bank account and had to sell the house at a massive loss and am now living with in laws in a converted shed in their backyard. Now, strapped with debt, I barely see a way back to home ownership, even renting is not in the cards for at least a couple years.

    It’s awful that in the span of 3 years I went from the happiest, most comfortable I’ve been in my entire life, to the most stressed and on the verge of homelessness, all due to fucking shit healthcare and shit ass family.

    • WizardofFrobozz@lemmy.ca
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      Millions of Americans suffering like this and none of you are willing to riot. Difficult to have a ton of sympathy.

      • architect@thelemmy.club
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        13 hours ago

        They will tell you they will get fired but the truth of it all is that MAGA got permission to burn the country down from republicans and the other side is being told to take it and let them burn it all. They have gotten the message that no one will back them if they retaliate against MAGA.

      • Gerudo@lemmy.zip
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        Our flimsy as shit healthcare is tied to our jobs. It’s a god awful position. Go riot and we lose our jobs, lose our healthcare, lose our transportation, lose our living arrangement, lose absolutely everything. A lot of us are already in survival mode.

        • WizardofFrobozz@lemmy.ca
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          lose our jobs, lose our healthcare, lose our transportation, lose our living arrangement, lose absolutely everything

          You’re DEFINITELY going to lose those things if you do nothing

  • HeyJoe@lemmy.world
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    Weirdly accurate. Early 40’s and about to get a divorce and start over. Losing the house I’ve been in for 12 years and will likely see my children much less. I’m excited and petrified of whats to come.

    • MissJinx@lemmy.world
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      23 hours ago

      I got divorced 10 years ago and since I decided to be child free I was able to travel a lot. Now I bought a new house and am just vibbing to be an old lady lol

    • paranoid@lemmy.world
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      The journey is shit but the destination is worth it. Keep your kids in mind with everything you do and you’ll always be ahead.

        • paranoid@lemmy.world
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          I was specifically referring to the divorce journey, with the destination being more or less settled after it’s finalized.

          Your interpretation definitely works though 😆

    • Q@piefed.social
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      Late 30’s divorce here about 5 years ago… It takes a while to start over all the life planning but once it gets rolling, things are so much better. That emotional bullshit you fight every day lifts off your shoulders and you can be more focused on the important stuff.

      You won’t notice it for a while. Keep going.

    • frunch@lemmy.world
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      Damn, hang in there. That’s a lot to go through, but i imagine you’re probably getting out of a bad situation by the sound of things. Try to keep focused on the good parts, and cherish the time with your children all the more. Hopefully you can get established somewhere soon and begin anew. The end of some things will be the beginnings of others. You might just be starting a hot new era 🙌

    • hairynipple@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      2 days ago

      It’s going to be 1 or 2 shit years, according to my divorce lawyer, and that was the case with me, but you’ll find yourself again. As another commenter said, try to keep contact with your kids as much as you can. Fight for them if you can.

    • fleem@piefed.zeromedia.vip
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      1 day ago

      divorce is fine. the kids’ll still see ya plenty enough if you want to.

      now you get to be yourself again, and a perfectly attentive parent when with the kids, cause the other time is spent doing shit you wanna do!

    • ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world
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      I’m nearing 60 and I feel like I must be about 110. Not physically, because I’m in great shape, bike 25-50 miles a day, work out, keep myself thin. But I’ve done so many different things in my life, different careers, lived lots of different places, that it feels like I’ve lived many lifetimes already. And since I grew up in the era of three TV channels, I think I’m already living in science fiction. People talk about their lives going by in a flash, but I kind of think that’s a consequence of just doing the same things day after day.

      I’m mainly thankful that I don’t have any kids to worry about and that it’s possible I’ll be dead before the climate shit really hits the fan. Being killed by robots is looking very realistic, unfortunately.

      • Track_Shovel@slrpnk.netOP
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        2 days ago

        I love this for you. I feel like I ended up at 40 rather fucking fast, if you ask me. That said, I’ve done the math, and a large chunk of my time since high school has been a B.Sc. working and a M.Sc. throw in getting married and having kids and poof.

        I haven’t done a lot of things but some pretty cool ones. I would like to do more but I’m busy with kids and mentoring young professionals and a bit of volunteer work.

        I need people to need me less lol.

      • Aniki@feddit.org
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        Being killed by robots is looking very realistic, unfortunately.

        we always assumed the robots would shoot us down in the street. instead, they do our work for us, and that’s how they kill us!

        • SinAdjetivos@lemmy.world
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          they do our work for us, and that’s how they kill us!

          Nobody dies from a fatal case of “unemployment” they die from lack of shelter (evictions at gunpoint and trespassing as a crime), lack of food and water (that would be theft, again shot and or imprisoned if one defends themselves against malnutrition/dehydration) and/or lack of medical care (when fentanyl is the only medication available…).

    • Psythik@lemmy.world
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      I have the opposite problem. In my early 40s and still have no idea what I want to be when I grow up. Hell, I’m still not ready to have* kids!

      Point I’m making is that there’s not nearly enough time given to us to live our short lives. Especially once you factor in the age of the universe (or even just Earth itself). Humanity as a whole has been a brief flash in the pan; if earth’s entire history was condensed down to one hour, you could literally blink and miss out on all of human evolution. That’s how little time we’re given.

  • Wildmimic@anarchist.nexus
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    2 days ago

    I’m the guy who didn’t sleep right for the last 3 years. Anyone wants to trade? You get a lot of extra time that you don’t spend sleeping!

      • Defectus@lemmy.world
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        I recently started getting much less sleep. When I can sleep i treat my self to some phenibut the evening before and then I can sleep for 10 hours straight.

      • Wildmimic@anarchist.nexus
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        Similar here. My nightmares wake me up when i want to sleep, until i am too exhausted to stay awake. Currently i am often afraid to go to sleep because of those IMAX-Style hyperreal dreams, which makes the problem even worse.

    • RaoulDook@lemmy.world
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      2 days ago

      I have the superpower to be able to nap at almost any time during the day if I have time to lay down. But if I wake up too early in the morning, I can almost never get back to sleep to get the last hour or half-hour of my sleep time in before the alarm to get up.

    • bedwyr@piefed.ca
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      I am an elite sleeper, I sleep less than most, but waste the extra time usually. I wile away with extra hours doing useless things like reading about the world.

  • T156@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    This arguably applies to a lot of adult ages. When you’re in your 20s, a lot of that is also true. Some of your friend group look like like they’d reminisce about The War, whereas the others appear younger than the iPhone 3G.

  • AA5B@lemmy.world
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    It was strange being first time parents at that age, while meeting younger couples who were becoming grandparents

    A big part of the reason we didn’t have a third kid was the “advanced maternal age” classification, and scary increases in potential genetic issues when the mother hits 40

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      We were considered geriatric on the paperwork at 35 with our second.

      Advanced was 30 with our first.

      I don’t even know what 40 is these days. They just write “Cooked”?

      • AA5B@lemmy.world
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        I was fine with that part, but now my peers are all talking about retirement while I still have two in college

    • titanicx@lemmy.zip
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      It’s always odd for me I’m slightly older than that but I was just at my great-niece and great nephew’s graduation party and I had the youngest child there. While also being a grandfather to one with a second one on the way.