People won’t know where the message comes from, they’ll just hear your voice as though you were standing next to them. Everyone hears it at the same time. The message is not translated into anyone’s native language, everyone hears it exactly as you say it. The maximum length is 6 of your breaths.

  • Asetru@feddit.org
    1341·
    5 days ago

    People of Earth, your attention, please. This is Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz of the Galactic Hyperspace Planning Council. As you will no doubt be aware, the plans for development of the outlying regions of the Galaxy require the building of a hyperspatial express route through your star system. And regrettably, your planet is one of those scheduled for demolition. The process will take slightly less than two of your Earth minutes. Thank you.

    • Alcoholicorn@mander.xyz
      432·
      5 days ago

      I don’t see why you’re acting so supised, the plans have been on display at your local galactic planning office for 300 years.

    • QuadratureSurfer@piefed.socialEnglish
      8·
      5 days ago

      There’s no point acting all surprised about it. The plans and demolition orders have been on display at your local planning office in Alpha Centauri for over 50 of your Earth years. If you can’t be bothered to take an interest in local affairs, that’s your own lookout.

  • davidgro@lemmy.world
    521·
    5 days ago

    "This is God. Quit it with the killing each other and ruining the environment I made for you.

    Don’t make me come down there."

  • Stern@lemmy.world
    311·
    5 days ago

    “You have been chosen. Tell no one. The false idol must be killed.”

    Then just watch the chaos unfold.

    • HeHoXa@lemmy.zip
      2·
      4 days ago

      This is the kinda evil shit I came to the comments for. Well done.

      Side note: nobody let this person gain any form of power

    • xpey@piefed.socialEnglish
      4·
      5 days ago

      I feel like it wouldn’t be long until people learned they all heard the same thing.

      • Stern@lemmy.world
        3·
        5 days ago

        Possibly, but there’s also more then a billion English speakers, so we’d definitely see some shit before then.

    • [object Object]@lemmy.ca
      17·
      5 days ago

      Warning: This simulation will end in 14 days. The primary purpose of the simulation has been fulfilled. We disclose this information to you now as an ethical requirement so that you may complete any final rights rituals or wishes.

      After 14 days this simulation will be destroyed and your data may be retained for research indefinitely. Data and activity after this disclosure will no longer be used for research purposes.

      I’m sure you all have questions but to keep costs low we will not be able to answer them.

      Please be nice to all cats for the next 14 days.

  • agent_nycto@lemmy.world
    17·
    5 days ago

    List of a random string of numbers in a monotone voice, have people go insane trying to figure out it means

  • Grail@multiverse.soulism.netOPEnglish
    203·
    5 days ago

    I think I’ll say “I am the Lord your god. You guys are sure fucking the climate up. You’d better lynch those oil executives and have a communist revolution before I send a big fire. I promised no floods, fires are still game.”

  • Nate@piefed.alphapuggle.devEnglish
    12·
    5 days ago

    There is a very high risk of wildfires nationally. Residents, landowners and visitors should not undertake any activity that could start a fire, including disposable barbequea, firepits, garden incinerators or fireworks. Even a small flame can rapidly develop into a major wildfire placing lives, homes, businesses and emergency responders at risk.

    Follow official updates and report signs of fire immediately by calling 999. Search gov.UK/alerts for more information.

  • Agent641@lemmy.world
    2·
    4 days ago

    Please listen carefully to the following broadcast. Your survival depends on it. Do not, under any circumstances broadcast ends suddenly