I know some people like that, and it’s exhausting. They want support and want to vent, but when it’s time to do the reverse they will have an excuse. Then they wonder why they rotate through friends quickly.
This is when comes the part everybody likes talking about but nobody likes doing, you gotta set boundaries. I had a ton of friends like that who would vent to me and then never do the inverse, so one time I just straight up told a friend who did this to me to not talk about her problems with me if she didn’t want to solve them. Saying I was sick of hearing her complain to me and if she did, then I’d turn my brain off and become a wall.
You gotta do that. Friendships can be difficult like any relationship and these are going to be needed. You can’t have a relationship with no boundaries. I’ve tried. They don’t work ever. So long as your friends are willing to respect them or at least try to, you might have something good. Have these difficult and awkward talks with your friends. It’ll honestly make your friendships stronger and better.
You’re not wrong, necessarily, but how did it work out for that relationship afterward? Did she become a better friend? Sometimes I wonder if it’s worth the effort. It doesn’t feel like a lot but many of us are problematically conflict-averse so it is a lot of effort in that way. If the “friend” in question isn’t presenting much value to me as a friend, I’m probably not going to invest a lot of effort into improving the relationship, especially if I have other, better options. Maybe that’s mean in its own way but then again, it’s just a different kind of setting boundaries, I suppose.
Yeah, it worked out good. I’m not gonna say it easn’t a rocky road to get there. It did take a lot of awkward conversations, but I feel we’re better off now.
I know some people like that, and it’s exhausting. They want support and want to vent, but when it’s time to do the reverse they will have an excuse. Then they wonder why they rotate through friends quickly.
This is when comes the part everybody likes talking about but nobody likes doing, you gotta set boundaries. I had a ton of friends like that who would vent to me and then never do the inverse, so one time I just straight up told a friend who did this to me to not talk about her problems with me if she didn’t want to solve them. Saying I was sick of hearing her complain to me and if she did, then I’d turn my brain off and become a wall.
You gotta do that. Friendships can be difficult like any relationship and these are going to be needed. You can’t have a relationship with no boundaries. I’ve tried. They don’t work ever. So long as your friends are willing to respect them or at least try to, you might have something good. Have these difficult and awkward talks with your friends. It’ll honestly make your friendships stronger and better.
You’re not wrong, necessarily, but how did it work out for that relationship afterward? Did she become a better friend? Sometimes I wonder if it’s worth the effort. It doesn’t feel like a lot but many of us are problematically conflict-averse so it is a lot of effort in that way. If the “friend” in question isn’t presenting much value to me as a friend, I’m probably not going to invest a lot of effort into improving the relationship, especially if I have other, better options. Maybe that’s mean in its own way but then again, it’s just a different kind of setting boundaries, I suppose.
Yeah, it worked out good. I’m not gonna say it easn’t a rocky road to get there. It did take a lot of awkward conversations, but I feel we’re better off now.