Not fascist, but I was a Religious-Fundamentalist.
I went to college to study the Bible, started reading debates between Creationists and Atheists, and ended up realising that the Atheists were correct.
Once I was no longer religious, moving left was just obvious to me based on human decency.
This is a great question and I wish I could distill the main take-aways into tangible things that could be used to effectively guide people away from fascism. Here’s my experience:
- Went to a decent university. Met people all over the political spectrum. Made friends with other far-right people and found them to be bitter, weird and kind of dense over time.
- Studied abroad for a semester, getting first-hand experience on what life in a foreign country could be like. Got help from a lot of decent folks.
- Met people from groups I used to hate. Realized they were just ordinary people and not sinister demons out to get me.
- Moved away from my far-right family.
- Got fucked over by other far-right people, who used shady tactics and unfair practices they were accusing other groups of.
- I used to love debating, so I had lots of discussions over a few beers with incredibly patient and validating people from other parts of the political spectrum. These arguments made the first cracks in my belief system.
- My country shifted from a left-wing government (in name, at least) to a right-wing one. I thought the left-wing government was corrupt and incompetent. The right-wing government quickly turned out to be that and more. When they started to agitate people against people fleeing from war-torn Syria to win the next election, I did a full 180, volunteering to help and going to protests, remembering the time when I was trying to get by in another country (as a privileged brat, not an asylum seeker).
I think that’s it, but there are probably many more minor bits that contributed. Ask me anything.
Thank you for telling your story.
The right-wing government quickly turned out to be that and more. When they started to agitate people against people fleeing from war-torn Syria to win the next election, I did a full 180, volunteering to help and going to protests, remembering the time when I was trying to get by in
Are you from Germany?
Hungary. But I spent the term I mentioned in Germany!
Not a fascist, but definitely a reactionary liberal. It took leaving the echo chamber I was born and raised in, plus moving far away and laboring in a pretty nakedly bad environment that really helped cement how capitalism truly functions at a base level.
Wasn’t a fascist but was maybe 30% baked into one around 2015. One day I was in my room, listening to a Sargon video, when I was stuck by a moment of clarity and thought “Jesus christ, all these people are unbelievably whiny fucking dorks who never stop complaining about shit that doesn’t matter, and also the bigotry was never actually a joke.”
Then I found CTH and never looked back. Just generally growing up and maturing helped too.
What’s “CTH” mean? Contract-to-hire, Carson Tahoe Health, Confederation of Tourism & Hospitality, Closer To Home, Commonwealth, Chemotherapy, Chal Theek Hai, Chug the Handle, or was it Cranking The Hog? You meant Cranking the Hog, didn’t you? …and you didn’t look back.
The fact that you said cranking the hog makes me think you don’t need this but…
CTH = Chapo Trap House
Probably Chapo trap house
Youre both right
Thank you!
Me too. They just wouldn’t stfu about trans people
Its very funny that these people have all the financial and institutional backing in the world to construct a pipeline, but they still managed to fuck up their own Stroggification process by being too annoying
Do they pretend it’s a joke or something?
Believe it or not they did for a bit around ~2015 or so, the “why are you sjws so sensitive, I’m just kidding” era. And I fully thought it was irony, I actually was kidding.
Then the election happened and they all pulled their faces off to reveal grinning skulls underneath, and i experienced that moment from Blade where the guy realizes he’s the only human in a vampire rave
I never went further right than voting democrat, but I used 4chan occasionally for a good decade and I’m convinced that support of Trump’s campaign on there was well-understood to be a running joke until people unaware it was a joke started joining to participate. I’ll admit I wasn’t using it much anymore at all by that time, but when I saw comments about Trump support start popping up the first couple months my thought was “this is hilarious”. The idea of actual Trump supporters existing was not something I was capable of imagining at that time.
I was raised fascist and bought into it. But the inherent unfairness of capitalism can’t be hidden. My first thought was that the people who said “capitalism is the only way” weren’t wrong but just outdated, that even if capitalism had been a go of system it was obsolete. This cracked open the door to Marxism which lead to a whole transformation over time.
I share this because I think it provides us some hope: even if the fascists won their ideas would only last so long before their own children became anarchists.
I wouldn’t say I used to be far-right but at high school, I have some right-wing opinion which is mostly from YouTubers I used to watch as well as I have internalise my homophobia and ableism because I get made fun of being queer and autistic that I felt like something was wrong with me.
It was around lockdown that I graduated from high school. It made me realise of the times I tried to get validation from my classmates which I never really got. Also, Black Lives Matter was trending on TikTok which made me realise how very shallow right-wing space is with them constantly moving the goalpost and framing certain scenario a certain way to fit to their agenda.
I still hate myself for it and despite I have changed, I still beat myself over it and wish I can cut myself. Better late than never but I wish I wasn’t that desperate for validation that I think even the slight gay representation is too “on the nose”.
Don’t beat yourself over it. The fact that you came to that realisation, makes you human. You aspire to be a better person, and that’s what is important. Don’t let wrong choices direct you in life! We all make ‘em.
Don’t beat yourself up about your opinions as a high schooler, it’s an age where you are very vulnerable to outside inputs, very attached to the opinions of your family (don’t know if that’s your case at all), and barely have any life experience that can disprove a lot of these ideas in practice. You should feel proud that you managed to realize these issues with your self and fix them instead of letting them fester like so many people do.
One might very well argue that someone who came to a realization and mended their way has an even better understanding and appreciation for the new value than someone who didn’t question their upbringing, even if they always had noble values.
Never was full fash, but was pretty deep into the right wing libertarian stuff in my mid to late teens.
Definitely started getting fed the typical alt-right algorithm pipeline, “leftists triggered” compilations, Sargon, Steven Crowder, Jordan Peterson, etc.
A few things shook me out of it:
- Went to University, got exposed to different perspectives and people.
- Started dating somebody who was open-minded and would gently but effectively challenge my views.
- Graduated and started having to pay off student loans, food, rent, got treated like trash at my first job and saw how Capitalist hierarchy screws people over unless you’re the owner.
It wasn’t a quick switch that flipped for me. It was a slow, gradual series of realizations that my worldview just didn’t make sense and didn’t line up with reality.
When I was younger, I was libertarian because I hated what the government did. It took me a while to figure out why the government does those things.
I think I can answer this one. I went from being a skinhead to a (what I think is) more well adjusted person.
I wish I could write you a neat list of things that happened in order for the shift to happen but it wasn’t as clean as that.
I hit a rock bottom in my life and realized that I cannot go on any further like that. I had a sort of epiphany where I realized the floowing. “If everything I do will be criticized, then everything is permitted”.
It somehow gave me the freedom to drop everything I ever was and change myself in a way that is more freeing to myself. (If that makes sense to you). I emigrated from my country so there was no peer pressure; I talk to my family extremely rarely (once every few months), I cut off all my old “friends”. I changed the way I dress and how I carry myself through the world. I have also stopped being a believer that also altered my worldviews a lot.
I have started reading a lot more (but I have also changed my media diet), I have started learning how to draw (at 35) and generally being a sh*tty hobby artist and doing it for the joy of it. I deleted all my social media accounts, disabled history (suggestions) on youtube, unsubscribed all my streaming services and generally do as much as possible to avoid the algorythm.
I consistently go to art shows to enjoy looking at art, I go to cheap theatre shows, and dream of being able to buy tickets and see a world-class ballet show or a musical.
AAAND! I actually went out of my way to go look at the pride/CSD/gay Parade and cheered from the sidelines on.
Now don’t get me wrong. Even though I like much more the new version of myself, it wasn’t all roses. This change has immensely strained my relationship with my wife and children to the point where we were separated for over 2 years. It’s still extremely difficult for her to accept “the new me” even though in my mind I just dropped the “facade”.
I still struggle with finding new circle of friends. I do have a lot of people “in my circle” but those people come and go. I tried to make friendships with LGBT people, but after telling them that I used to be something else and that I’m changing myself, they tend to drop me like a hot potato. In general people are having much harder time making sense of the new me than before.
Thank you for sharing.
I’m glad that my experience has struck a note with you
I hope you are able to find some people that will accept you. It can be hard to trust people who say they are changing themselves, but you sound genuine and I wish you the best.
Thank you for your kind words
I live in the South.
I had a salvation experience after a drug problem in my teens. I was from a broken home and the love bombing was the best experience of my life. I went all in on faith. Worked for the church for a number of years. I think I saw the machinations of the church and politics and tried to talk to people, but the faith bit of the church is actually pretty minor.
Most of my issues with the church, I only have because I experienced life outside of the church first.
It’s a group of individuals just like any other. Among the fundamentalists is a hard line that taught something called young earth creationism. This is the belief that the record of creation in the Bible and it’s genealogy is literal records of individuals and time. This makes all of recorded history and science almost a malicious lie against the reality of the Bible and anyone who believes.
Now, here in the South the church still holds genuine power, so this throws in the racists who primarily are opposed to school integration and education (read wages). Because these are the landowner class that has been able to hang onto wealth for generations they have access to capital they are largely able to shape political policies just with jobs and stuff.
This slipstream (social networking or corruption) can then be used to elevate proper behavior and elect officials (a typical mega church can put out a sign up by the coffee bar for community events and such and get free labor and keep the kids off the street).
My only other real social group was the drug trade which was pretty much merit based lol, but honestly how many people see that another world is possible? If I had a sheltered childhood and a kid at eighteen, I’d better get in line and worry about the morality later. People can’t live off of unconnected wages down here, again real economic power.
This marriage of money power and faith struck me. Once you look at that geographicly it gets ugly. Its why conservatives are so pissed off. They have a working parallel social group that’s actually quite a bit nicer. So, not escaped, but aware.
There’s a cost and it is high. Shunning is real and fucks people’s lives up. It’s much worse in smaller towns where the police are sheriff and therefore good church going evictors are on side. Plus, it’s not stuff that you can really be honest about because people are living their lives and pretty trapped.
I think that’s where the molestation stuff comes in, then it’s a secret and we have to protect the church and stuff and you sort of have to because kids gotta eat, plus his dad owns have the dealerships in the county.
It’s sort of like that bell curve meme: it’s racists > it’s a different but unequal social networking > it’s racists.
I grew up in integrated schools though, even in a fervor there was only so far that I could go with it as id deconstructed some of that already. Plus I was really patriotic, so overthrowing the government seemed a bit much.
What people forget about the South is that these power structures predate and supercede pretty much everything in the South. Even though I’m white, I’m a part of a rebellion that stole generational wealth from them and if I want to reproduce and have my children have any sort of financial independence I need to bend the knee. That’s why all the groveling is just washing over conservatives, it’s just a part of life down here.
I live in the South.
Like, the southern hemisphere? Where exactly?
The way it reads I presume the United States
Most likely, but still, it’s annoying that US-Americans pretend their country is the only one having a South. Would be cool if they could acknowledge other countries exist for a change.
I hear you, I live in the United States and it is tiring to see.
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What a hellish description. I’m sorry that people live like that.
I was sliding down the alt-right rabbit hole, mostly out of loneliness. Algorithms and echo chambers love loneliness.
I think there’s a really important threshold, and I’m ashamed to say I reached it, where you know it’s propaganda. Where you stop falling down the rabbit hole and start walking down it of your own accord.
The first propaganda, you believe. Some people commit crimes, or hate you, or are dangerous. Capitalism is freedom. The stuff an uncurious and uncareful person can believe all of and still be internally consistent, if wrong.
Then there’s the propaganda that requires you to acknowledge the lies you believed earlier were lies. No, it isn’t Hispanic people that commit crimes - it’s Jewish people! Capitalism isn’t freedom - libertarianism, or state capitalism, or whatever buzzword for company towns is in vogue.
And you know the stuff you believed before isn’t true. But you still say it in polite company, you mask and start to pretend you aren’t someone who believes what you do. You know it’s unacceptable.
That’s what got me out. Realizing that I was in a dark cycle of self-isolation and internet addiction, and trying to be deliberately social and empathetic and present. Therapy helps, but you’ve gotta want it.
A guy I worked with was far-right, but drew the line at violence, so not a fascist, per se.
All that fucker needed to cure himself was a passport and to get out of his ends. Soon realised that the vast majority of humans are all after the same basic needs and we have more in common than we don’t.
Grew up in an extreme right wing ‘Christian’ church. It never sat well, even as a kid/teen. I don’t know if I ever considered I was fascist, but certainly had to unlearn a lot of internalised thought patterns. Ended up leaving centralised media a few months ago after realising how much alt-right content was being pushed in my face despite following mostly left leaning accounts and queer creators.
not truly fascist but i was raised reactionary and held these views for a while on and off as a kid.
there weren’t fascism influencers back then, but when i thought of following the rabbit hole to its logical conclusion, the overt racism and swastikas started coming out and that’s what shook me awake. the leftists in my life who talked to me helped a lot.
my country had to project a fascist into the mainstream who openly said the quiet part out loud and i had to see a lot of people around me falling for the rabbit hole i almost fell into myself for me to truly radicalize though. i looked up what that scary phenomenon was, and finally knew for sure what side i wanted to be on.
Psychedelics were a huge key for me.











