I went on a semi-rant about IQ in another top level post, but now it’s time to go on a rant about the R word.
I’ve worked with adults with developmental and cognitive disabilities. I was a supported living coach for a while, and also volunteered some at an adult day training school where my wife taught.
The school in particular taught daily living skills, but also art. The students were encouraged to paint, sing, write. They had a theatre program - which is where I mostly volunteered, running sound for some shows and helping backstage at others.
Before I started working with them, I was a bit intimidated and scared by them. I personally have a high IQ[1], so the concept of people living with a low IQ kinda scared me a little. What do they live for? How do they live? How do they survive with, like, limited thoughts or whatever? I had no clue.
Then I got to meet the community at the day school and I quickly realized… they’re human, like you and me. Of course they are. But I didn’t know. I learned that they have needs and wants, like all humans; friendships and gossip and enjoying some days and not enjoying other days. You know, seriously, like the rest of us.
One of the classes my wife taught was theatre, and she taught her class Shakespeare (among other things). When I say that her students understood Shakespeare, I mean they could explain what happened in the plays they covered. What I began to realize was that the main problem these folks faced was that they learned more slowly. Not that they couldn’t learn.
Also, as an aside: While it was mostly amazing getting to hang out and work with these folks that tended to be much happier than other groups of people I’ve dealt with, that is also a negative stereotype, expressed specifically in the stereotype that many people with Down’s syndrome are always happy. Well, like many steretypes, there is some truth there, but everybody has shitty days, and not only that, but everyone has their own personality. Just because you see happy people with Down’s in media… it ain’t all like that. But overall, there is some truth there.
But the main point of my post, after hopefully helping to humanize them to you and anyone reading, is to end with this: They know the “R” word. They hear it. They hear it used against and about them. And even when it’s not, they know the word and that they are its origin. When that word is used, you’re not just calling something “stupid”, you are referencing a whole group of people that absolutely do not deserve it.
As a final note, to anyone who wants to argue about how language changes and how words get retired and if we retire this word another will come along: First of all, I don’t believe you in this case. In the past 10-15 years, the word has fallen off in use, and the words that replaced it weren’t offensive in the same way. But I’ve had to start speaking out about it again because it’s starting to come back in the past 2-3 years or so, and I’d rather see it permanently quashed. Also, even if another word did come along that was offensive, THAT DOESN’T EXCUSE USING THIS WORD RIGHT NOW WHICH IS OFFENSIVE RIGHT NOW.
I’m not telling anyone what to do. You and everyone have the right to use the language you wish to. I and others have the right to judge people for the language they use, though. So I hope you and others that use the word will consider removing it from your vocabulary.
I did. Took me a while, but it was worth it.
I’m no saint. I lose my temper and rant against those I feel are supporting fascism, for example, far more than I should. So I’m not trying to say I’m better than anyone. I’m just humbly requesting that people who use that word reconsider doing so, as it makes the world a slightly better place. <3
Which is worth extremely little, q.v. my other rant in this thread ↩︎
to anyone who wants to argue about how language changes and how words get retired and if we retire this word another will come along: First of all, I don’t believe you in this case. In the past 10-15 years, the word has fallen off in use, and the words that replaced it weren’t offensive in the same way.
I don’t understand why you think this argument, which I’ve heard described as the Euphemism Treadmill, doesn’t apply to this word. Retard is used to describe the slowing of something, like fire, without any insult to people. It’s just a word. As you point out, that word can be, and is, used as an insult which causes harm. However, any word can do that. Take “slow”, which I used above as an example. If it became the new slang insult for people of below average intelligence would you ask that people stop using it? It sounds silly to think of today, but that’s just because we aren’t used to hearing it that way. There’s nothing stopping a new word from taking the place of an old one, and retarded is not special. I guarantee you if people used it to laugh at others or said it sharply it would become just as hurtful.
We used to call people without jobs or shelter bums, then homeless, then housless, now temporarily unhoused. Once everyone is saying temporarily unhoused what will the next word be?
We’re absolutely in agreement that slower people are people too and deserve to be treated with respect. However, the fact that intelligence is a sought after trait that you are ridiculed for not having is the root of the problem, not the word used, and I don’t think this word has some special ability to get around the euphemism treadmill.
That word, the verb, is pronounced “ree-TARD”. The “R” word is “REE-tard”.
In the same way that “negro” (NEH-gro) in some languages means black and is perfectly fine, and the same way that Niger (american “NIE-jur” or original “nee-ZHER” is also fine.
I already made my argument and explicitely said I would not debate, but I will simply reiterate: I don’t care about words that USED to be offensive or words that MIGHT ONE DAY be offensive, the “R” word is offensive NOW.
Please, can we move away from the “R” word.
I went on a semi-rant about IQ in another top level post, but now it’s time to go on a rant about the R word.
I’ve worked with adults with developmental and cognitive disabilities. I was a supported living coach for a while, and also volunteered some at an adult day training school where my wife taught.
The school in particular taught daily living skills, but also art. The students were encouraged to paint, sing, write. They had a theatre program - which is where I mostly volunteered, running sound for some shows and helping backstage at others.
Before I started working with them, I was a bit intimidated and scared by them. I personally have a high IQ[1], so the concept of people living with a low IQ kinda scared me a little. What do they live for? How do they live? How do they survive with, like, limited thoughts or whatever? I had no clue.
Then I got to meet the community at the day school and I quickly realized… they’re human, like you and me. Of course they are. But I didn’t know. I learned that they have needs and wants, like all humans; friendships and gossip and enjoying some days and not enjoying other days. You know, seriously, like the rest of us.
One of the classes my wife taught was theatre, and she taught her class Shakespeare (among other things). When I say that her students understood Shakespeare, I mean they could explain what happened in the plays they covered. What I began to realize was that the main problem these folks faced was that they learned more slowly. Not that they couldn’t learn.
Also, as an aside: While it was mostly amazing getting to hang out and work with these folks that tended to be much happier than other groups of people I’ve dealt with, that is also a negative stereotype, expressed specifically in the stereotype that many people with Down’s syndrome are always happy. Well, like many steretypes, there is some truth there, but everybody has shitty days, and not only that, but everyone has their own personality. Just because you see happy people with Down’s in media… it ain’t all like that. But overall, there is some truth there.
But the main point of my post, after hopefully helping to humanize them to you and anyone reading, is to end with this: They know the “R” word. They hear it. They hear it used against and about them. And even when it’s not, they know the word and that they are its origin. When that word is used, you’re not just calling something “stupid”, you are referencing a whole group of people that absolutely do not deserve it.
As a final note, to anyone who wants to argue about how language changes and how words get retired and if we retire this word another will come along: First of all, I don’t believe you in this case. In the past 10-15 years, the word has fallen off in use, and the words that replaced it weren’t offensive in the same way. But I’ve had to start speaking out about it again because it’s starting to come back in the past 2-3 years or so, and I’d rather see it permanently quashed. Also, even if another word did come along that was offensive, THAT DOESN’T EXCUSE USING THIS WORD RIGHT NOW WHICH IS OFFENSIVE RIGHT NOW.
I’m not telling anyone what to do. You and everyone have the right to use the language you wish to. I and others have the right to judge people for the language they use, though. So I hope you and others that use the word will consider removing it from your vocabulary.
I did. Took me a while, but it was worth it.
I’m no saint. I lose my temper and rant against those I feel are supporting fascism, for example, far more than I should. So I’m not trying to say I’m better than anyone. I’m just humbly requesting that people who use that word reconsider doing so, as it makes the world a slightly better place. <3
Which is worth extremely little, q.v. my other rant in this thread ↩︎
I don’t understand why you think this argument, which I’ve heard described as the Euphemism Treadmill, doesn’t apply to this word. Retard is used to describe the slowing of something, like fire, without any insult to people. It’s just a word. As you point out, that word can be, and is, used as an insult which causes harm. However, any word can do that. Take “slow”, which I used above as an example. If it became the new slang insult for people of below average intelligence would you ask that people stop using it? It sounds silly to think of today, but that’s just because we aren’t used to hearing it that way. There’s nothing stopping a new word from taking the place of an old one, and retarded is not special. I guarantee you if people used it to laugh at others or said it sharply it would become just as hurtful.
We used to call people without jobs or shelter bums, then homeless, then housless, now temporarily unhoused. Once everyone is saying temporarily unhoused what will the next word be?
We’re absolutely in agreement that slower people are people too and deserve to be treated with respect. However, the fact that intelligence is a sought after trait that you are ridiculed for not having is the root of the problem, not the word used, and I don’t think this word has some special ability to get around the euphemism treadmill.
That word, the verb, is pronounced “ree-TARD”. The “R” word is “REE-tard”.
In the same way that “negro” (NEH-gro) in some languages means black and is perfectly fine, and the same way that Niger (american “NIE-jur” or original “nee-ZHER” is also fine.
I already made my argument and explicitely said I would not debate, but I will simply reiterate: I don’t care about words that USED to be offensive or words that MIGHT ONE DAY be offensive, the “R” word is offensive NOW.