so last night i had trouble sleeping. my cat came and slept on top of me and that helped, but literally the second my cat got up to lay on top of my wife’s head i had a nightmare and i just can’t shake it. i’d tell my wife about it, but like, something very close to all of these bullshits happened in real life and telling her this would make her very justifiably angry. she’s got enough going on for the next few weeks (school year is ending) to worry about my imaginations, especially when i know my dream was telling me to go to the p.harmacy and put some water in the freezer to make ice blocks for our disappearance to the coast to go camping (also, i did that way better this year). so nyeh nyeh all of y’all can pretend to be my therapists/psychics.

but here’s the dream: we were bowling with the whole extended family. like big ol family reunion on my side of the family and my wife’s side too, so i had someone take over my turns because i was hungry for ribs. i stepped aside and got out the smoker (out of my pockets) and started smoking some ribs in the bowling alley (cherry wood, minion method with charcoal on a 24 inch weber smokey mountain, sand in the water pan covered in foil look i used to lucid dream so mine get really vivid especially when food is involved). i asked everyone who wanted ribs and of course everyone did. I got everyone’s rub and sauce orders, and of course i made a couple extra racks of dino bones. and my estranged SIL invites some people from her cult. being a good host, i make sure they have enough of the main dish. my wife and i share half of a rib and that’s about all of the cookout i get to eat. I am very good at showing i’m not upset, but then my MIL looked around, laid down on the ground, looked around again, then faked a seizure. then looked around again, and faked another one because no one reacted to the first one. then she got up and went to the bathroom and cried because she didn’t get the response she wanted. then i woke up.

i woke up kinda hangry for ribs this morning. i already bought ribs at costco today (can’t afford beef rib on teacher salary, can afford pork rib) and we’re smoking them tomorrow (minion method, cherry, water in the water pan, smaller weber smokey mountain)