this is the heart-warming romcom I want for christmas this year

They thought they caught you slacking

But those cheeks have been clapping

Your cup overfloweth,

While the thirsty boys are fapping

assuming this isn’t somehow an upgrade for me was your first mistake

Ouinnnn mets-en! Ma pogner un slutch puppies apres au dep!

It’s a bit of a cob-out

yes but it requires an AI-generated image

The shadow looks kind of moth-y are you moth

Possibility? I thought we knew this was happening for real?

How girl get pregant

acting like my body is a crime scene instead of a work of art

Woah, that’s wild. I’ve got both and I’m a mix of both. It’s like when people guess my towel size correctly at the hotel

The character from the Simpsons?

A big old goose egg, eh?

The deadpan casual comment of your spouse’s passing is perhaps one of the funniest deliveries I’ve ever heard. I’m so sorry for your loss

Sounds like you’d be into strictly my buttcrack

Edit: I wrote that as a joke but knowing you I’m not sure who’s laughing

Also, “free” v-cards. It’s a scam. You think they’re giving you something for free but then turn around after giving it to you and demand like $3-$4. I was shocked, I thought they were handing out nice valentine cards to be kind but it was a street scam

I wasn’t expecting the drop to hit so hard

These memes jerk me around lately

11-7, my favourite convenience store

can’t even have a public wank in peace anymore what is the world coming to