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Cake day: February 27th, 2026

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  • It’s a holiday to venerate an ideal steeped in words like “Freedom”, “Self-Determination”, and “Exceptionalism” but is really just commemorating when a bunch of white male landholding slave owners decided they hated being taxed enough to go kill tax collectors and sold the public on the idea with propaganda. The entire system they put in place has built in mechanisms to ensure that true democracy is impossible (and was never really the point) and that the monied interests continue to exert outsized influence over policies and laws that benefit and enrich them.

    And also a day when it’s guaranteed that at least a measurable percentage of people will wake up tomorrow unable to count to ten on their remaining fingers.




  • Gotta disagree with you there. Crucifiction means he’s likely to be made a martyr and Trumpism will end up being a new major sect of Christianity, with a whole new host of evangelists prostelytizing “his” teachings. In my wildest dreams he’d go the route of Wilson, where a dibilitating stroke forces him to be a prisoner in his own body as the next regime (hopefully) dismantles the fascist apparatus he’s birthed into being. Barring that, I hope he just dies while shitting his pants during a live TV broadcast. Just strokes out, ala McConnell, and shits his pants, loudly and audibly (just like the Forbes video), before face planting off the stage.