I used to think Young MC was the son of MC Hammer. Holy hell I aged myself there

I’d tell my cats I’m not chasing them to hit them (I’ve never raised my voice or hit a cat), I’m just walking that direction. You don’t have to run like a bat out of hell. And no, no voice works like it does on dogs.

Are you still in elementary school? If not, you can’t possibly still believe this

It’s at least going on the comment card

Yo, I’m a foot guy, let’s see those pics

My wife had a huge cancer scare. It turned out not to be, but while that word was laying on the table, I could no longer hear snare drums. Vibrant colors turned to gray. I was tone deaf with music. You’re right, I don’t know how sad you feel, but I have an idea of what I would experience. Nothing and no one can prepare you for just how awful the whole thing is.

Jokes on you, my cock was small before I even had sex

TIL: Taking mushrooms and experiencing ego death makes you a superior intellectual. Well I have those qualities, and I assure you, I’m not an intellectual

So what’s your solution? Or are you here just to complain?

Bruh that toe was the key factor in the enrichment of your life goals. Think of it as an investment. And listen, don’t even worry about the 3/10, you whip out a four toe’d foot, and the jury will be eating out of the palm of your hand. Trust.

Yea, I didn’t take it seriously, but my wife… really bad at left vs right

Variety is the spice of life, a bread for every occasion.

It started when Amazon bought them

Like life has lost all it’s color? Everything is now in grayscale?

Books over sex? Nah fam, you can keep that deal

I read that and thought “dude, you DID fail him”

I think this was posted before the pastor at the dedication respond to this this. He posted several paragraphs explaining why this isn’t false idolatry, and it kind of came down to ‘trust me bro’

100%. Both her and Stewart are in the exact positions they need to be in to be the most useful to our country. Stewart gets the views of the center, while she works on progressive projects, where she can. Politics gets folks emotional, but it’s best to plan from reason.

I’m a teams app for dumb phones away from getting off smart phones. I’m fiddy and have to use my readers to even see my phone, so I’ve slowly stopped using it for much outside of random apps for appliances. I can get an ipad for that, though. I’m also a privacy advocate, but I’ve made peace with the fact that ship has pretty much sailed

I hate that I’m saying this, but this would be handy for my wife. Except like, correct, ya know?