If Trump wants to find out if Swift can rhyme “orange” then he should absolutely keep attacking her. I’m pretty sure there’s gotta be like three people in the world you could figure it out legitimately, and she could be one of them. Or she could afford to hire someone who could.

• Funny weird: gobbledygook
• Longest weird: antidisestablishmentarianism
• Shortest weird: A
• Literally weird: weird
• Dangerously weird: Conservative
• Unexpectedly weird: vanilla
• Properly weird: FNORD

I can’t believe anyone did this. It’s totally random (within pool of participants). There’s a reason it went away. Is the equivalent of “I’m feeling lucky” but with a smaller pool. I guess I’d you like random it’s fine I guess?

Okay we can’t keep having to go accept these rewards, it’s wrecking our production flow. So we hired Larry here to be our official award acceptance guy. Oh and those new shelves have been finished so we’ll be getting all the trophies out of the break room by tomorrow.

Ex-fucking-excuse me? Not just victim blaming, but victim blaming a child? I fucking hate living on this planet. Just launch me into the sun already.

Sounds made up. I’ve never interacted with a single person at the gym, ever.

Why did they pass a law making it legal to kill soup?

It must be so nice to see such a small bar for your defense spending.