He’s really grasping at straws to stay relevant.

Underrated pun

The mailman is Count Rugen.

It’s sims all the way down.

Trapped in an M&Ms container

Surrounded by butter

Low on microwaved banana

After the success of the Barbie movie, studios were allegedly scrambling to figure out what other toys they could make a movie about. They just don’t get it.

He’s Bobby Tables’ great uncle.

Iran, if you’re reading this, can we uhh, hire your psychologists? Asking on behalf of most Americans.

Funny, I was just reading one of my favorite greentexts:

Over time I learned to just own my weird tastes and not care what other people think, but I think that’s just something that comes with age. The music I got made fun of for was actually pretty basic, my dad was just disdainful of anything that wasn’t his music. The name “Racer X” just sounded “gay” to him, and I got shit for the album cover of Soul Asylum’s Grave Dancer’s Union because there’s two naked children on it. To make things right, I never make fun of my own kids for their weird shit, and I try to teach them not to criticize other people over meaningless things either.

I hope you’ve also been able to heal from your experiences.

Also, I just discovered Archspire about a year ago and I agree that Bleed the Future is an absolute banger.

Same. I used to get made fun of for my music taste, sometimes just based on the band name or album art. Developed a habit of hiding my interests from my parents and feeling ashamed when they found anything non-mainstream of mine.

Only one logical conclusion: ban photosynthesis. We should probably repeal the second law of thermodynamics while we’re at it.

I don’t think most people want to see poor people hurt, I think they’re just apathetic, especially to problems that are far enough away to ignore. Raise my taxes to help someone a thousand miles away? Hell No! Donate to the local Salvation Army? Here’s $20.

You could go a step further and ask why we don’t just build cheap, temporary, no-cost housing for the same purpose. The answer is that we absolutely could (financially), we just choose not to (politically).

Our society has collectively decided that there is some acceptable number of preventable deaths due to lack of housing/food/medicine. Those in power choose not to address these problems, and those who would address them don’t have the power.

I do lick my paw, sir.

Do you live in Crimea?

You’d have to pay me to carry a Trump-branded phone. Like, pay me a lot. And it would have to be a recurring monthly fee.

I’m gonna steal this for work. “No, I’m not upset. Crushed by the monotony, yes, but not upset”

But that’s none of my business.

Is this the “puppygirl” I keep hearing about?