Why are these always reserved for someone’s mother? Why can’t they save some for the rest of us :(

Split-me-like-a-log-daddy-eep

All these other shit-for-brains got it wrong. Here’s what you do:

1. Find a woman your own age, pervert
2. Have her go through EXTENSIVE cosmetic surgery to become a replica of your current wife
3. Have newbie secretly follow your wife until she learns every habit, nuance, and personality trait
4. I’ll leave the uglier details of this step to your own imagination
5. Pretend newbie has been your appropriately aged wife the whole time
6. Send us some feet pics of those juicy things you’ve got tucked away in your socks (this step is optional)

God this is my heaven

“…whose only ideals are personal gain.” I think you’re describing every billionaire, no?

Nothing is actually real until it adversely affects them.

What’s disgusting about having hundreds of partners?

The moon is made of cheese and, like all cheeses, emits light under a low enough temperate (space is so cold it doesn’t even have a temperature - it’s just “cold”). The REAL mindbender, is why the space dust particles make the light all bright instead of dirty yellow, like how i like my cheese