I don’t. I don’t think there’s a direct line from helplessness to anger. I think it’s just fear of things you cannot control, being overwhelmed with the logistics that accompany a response to any and every possible disaster or inconvenience, and a lifelong weariness built on your own constant vigilance against anything that might marginally worsen your stability and comfort. It’s worry. Constant worry, and your own forecasted model of whatever consequences await should you stop worrying.
If you personally experience anger as a coping mechanism to difficult feelings, I think there’s an emotional regulation issue you need to address and work on. If you’re angry because you feel powerless, it’s probably because you feel more comfortable being angry and use it to avoid the discomfort of feeling small, and that’s your way of reclaiming power. That’s not anxiety, that’s a frightening quality for others to have to deal with, and your pattern of thought shows a willingness to offload the blame for your aggression on external factors. Anyway, I hope you find a way to deal with that, if that’s how you process anxiety.
I’ll have to think about what you wrote, thank you, it might actually help me. Working as a government contractor (not the shit kind you see on tv) was nothing compared to working in education. I’m probably angry at myself because I couldn’t do anything when my students came to me for help.
She told me that he touched her in the wrong place; bringing it up and being changed to a different group pissed me off.
I failed as an educator. You can look at other posts I’ve made, education is hell.
I’ve got some friends in education and I definitely don’t envy them at all. I’m sorry you had to go through that. Good people, I think, feel it is their duty and sometimes even their purpose to protect children. I feel that imperative too, and can empathize with how upsetting it is to know there’s a harmed child you cannot help. There’s evil, despicable people everywhere and I personally cannot fathom how they live with themselves doing what they do. The sad reality is they often are protected from the consequences of their actions, and I definitely know that righteous anger and that desire for some extrajudicial punishment for people like that.
Maybe you couldn’t save her. But you tried. Maybe you’ll have another kid and won’t be able to save them either. But you just keep trying, doing your best, and you hope that one day you’ll be able to save at least one. It only takes one to know you were somebody’s angel, and that there was a reason for you to be where you were when you were. Give yourself some grace, friend.
I don’t. I don’t think there’s a direct line from helplessness to anger. I think it’s just fear of things you cannot control, being overwhelmed with the logistics that accompany a response to any and every possible disaster or inconvenience, and a lifelong weariness built on your own constant vigilance against anything that might marginally worsen your stability and comfort. It’s worry. Constant worry, and your own forecasted model of whatever consequences await should you stop worrying.
If you personally experience anger as a coping mechanism to difficult feelings, I think there’s an emotional regulation issue you need to address and work on. If you’re angry because you feel powerless, it’s probably because you feel more comfortable being angry and use it to avoid the discomfort of feeling small, and that’s your way of reclaiming power. That’s not anxiety, that’s a frightening quality for others to have to deal with, and your pattern of thought shows a willingness to offload the blame for your aggression on external factors. Anyway, I hope you find a way to deal with that, if that’s how you process anxiety.
I’ll have to think about what you wrote, thank you, it might actually help me. Working as a government contractor (not the shit kind you see on tv) was nothing compared to working in education. I’m probably angry at myself because I couldn’t do anything when my students came to me for help.
She told me that he touched her in the wrong place; bringing it up and being changed to a different group pissed me off.
I failed as an educator. You can look at other posts I’ve made, education is hell.
I’ve got some friends in education and I definitely don’t envy them at all. I’m sorry you had to go through that. Good people, I think, feel it is their duty and sometimes even their purpose to protect children. I feel that imperative too, and can empathize with how upsetting it is to know there’s a harmed child you cannot help. There’s evil, despicable people everywhere and I personally cannot fathom how they live with themselves doing what they do. The sad reality is they often are protected from the consequences of their actions, and I definitely know that righteous anger and that desire for some extrajudicial punishment for people like that.
Maybe you couldn’t save her. But you tried. Maybe you’ll have another kid and won’t be able to save them either. But you just keep trying, doing your best, and you hope that one day you’ll be able to save at least one. It only takes one to know you were somebody’s angel, and that there was a reason for you to be where you were when you were. Give yourself some grace, friend.
Thank you.