• lightnsfw@reddthat.com
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    2 days ago

    The vast majority of people do not want to have sex with the vast majority of other people and most places prohibit fucking in them.

    • Dyskolos@lemmy.zip
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      2 days ago

      OK, u just took it verbatim. You are able to fuck anyone anywhere. They might not mirror that desire to do so and the place might not be made for it. But you COULD.

        • Dyskolos@lemmy.zip
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          2 days ago

          Why? The pure technical ability to do so is there. Doesn’t mean you should or would. Besides that wasn’t even remotely my initial point.

            • Dyskolos@lemmy.zip
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              2 days ago

              OK, if you are technically unable to do the act. Which now is lightyears away from my point 😁

              • Log in | Sign up@lemmy.world
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                2 days ago

                You’re deliberately misinterpreting me and insulting me at the same time. There’s no need for that.

                You said

                Sex you can have with everyone and get it everywhere.

                And that’s simply not true for most of us.

                You characterised love and affection as hard to find, but I get love of various sorts readily from my wife, children and other family, and a great deal of affection from friends and some colleagues. You characterised sex as easy to find, stating I could get it anywhere and any time with anyone, and you argued with people who disagree, but the truth is that I can get sex only in my bedroom, only with my wife, only at night, and only when she is in the mood for it, and anything else is pure fiction, for me. Maybe not for you, but definitely for me.

                That fact that you even think to assert that love and affection are hard to find and sex is easy to find is why we live very, very, very different lives. I’m not asking to swap, but we are NOT the same.

                Maybe you mean something different than you’re saying, but of you want to get your point across to us ordinary folk for whom a sex life as busy as our libido was a teenage fantasy that never turned up, you’d better start rephrasing and explaining rather than just claiming “technical” truth.

                It’s also “technically” true that you can get affection anywhere. Yesterday I gave a homeless guy a lift from his begging pitch outside the bus station to his tent and bought him and his girlfriend a pizza hut on the way, and he cried and hugged me. Today I met up with a bunch of friends and got about four hugs, which is totally normal for that bunch. Most people wouldn’t call it love, but it’s heaps of affection.

                We live very different lives for you to claim what you claim.

                I’m also troubled that you only said that you can’t enforce love and affection. Enforcing sex is called rape. I’m guessing that you didn’t mean that, but do you not see that you need to back down from some of the words and phrases that you used instead of defending them, and explain what you meant in a less provocative way?

                • Dyskolos@lemmy.zip
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                  1 day ago

                  I guess you deliberately want to misunderstand me. And I don’t even get why.

                  Love is something rare, where two souls need find each other.

                  Sex, I could go to the next brothel and have it 10 times a day. Or go on tinder and let golddiggers have it. If you’re a decently attractive woman, you’ll get it for free on tinder in 5 minutes. Or in the next bar or wherever. I can also walk around asking anyone until I’m lucky.

                  So that’s a simple COULD. Love you cannot simply get.

                  Maybe my point was badly phrased, I dunno. But insulting you surely wasn’t my goal.

                  • Log in | Sign up@lemmy.world
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                    23 hours ago

                    Sex, I could go to the next brothel and have it 10 times a day.

                    Brothels are illegal in my country.

                    Or go on tinder and let golddiggers have it.

                    The vast majority of people are absolutely nowhere near rich enough to attract golddiggers.

                    If you’re a decently attractive woman, you’ll get it for free on tinder in 5 minutes. Or in the next bar or wherever.

                    I don’t know what proportion of women you believe are decently attractive, but surely you accept it isn’t 100%. Also roughly 49% of us are male, and this absolutely and unequivocally is not the experience of even decently attractive men.

                    I can also walk around asking anyone until I’m lucky.

                    This would get me slapped and possibly arrested for sexual harassment. It would definitely, definitely, definitely not work. You have to either be an unusually attractive man or alternatively be seeking sex from men for this to have any chance whatsoever of success.

                    I keep telling you that your experience is far from typical, and I keep telling you that we live completely different lives. You are confident that you could easily get sex if you wanted it, whenever or wherever you wanted it. I promise you 100% that I am right that your experience is NOT universal. You live in a magical world of sex availability. By contrast I live in a blessed world of readily available affection from my friends (who I chose), surrounded by family that love me, but where sex is available with frequency lower than my preference and with zero realistic chance of me getting it elsewhere.

                    WE ARE NOT THE SAME. Accept it please, and stop telling me I’m wrong about what my own lived experience is like. You are WRONG.

                    I guess you deliberately want to misunderstand me.

                    I don’t want to deliberately misunderstand you, I want you to hear me. Your experience of readily available sex whenever, wherever, whoever, is far from universal.