I remember having to program a trap for double-clicking buttons in an application.
Then I had to implement a penalty for triple-clicking.
Later, I converted it to a progressive incremental penalty.
I’m actually surprised no one’s roasted my math in ShatterCanvas.xaml.cs yet—I’m basically faking the ‘gravity’ by just incrementing VelocityY every frame. It’s surprisingly lightweight for how many polygons are flying around.
That is exactly how gravity works lol
What is acceleration other than increase in velocity over time? Nothing to roast!
Incremental penalties are the way! I see you’re also a student of the ‘Hostile UX’ school of design. Shaking the window is basically the ultimate progression of button spam—once you exceed the velocity threshold, the UI simply quits on you. ψ(｀∇´)ψ
Brb throwing this into my group policy at work
How To Convince Your Boss To Ditch Windows
Just tell your boss it’s a mandatory Windows 11 ‘Surface Tension’ update. If the windows didn’t break, how would you know they’re made of glass? OwO
Liquid glass doesn’t break because it isn’t mounted ina windows or is it because it’s liquid?
It’s because liquid glass has zero surface tension until it hits the user32.dll barrier. I haven’t implemented ‘viscosity’ in the physics engine yet, so for now, the UI remains in a solid, shatter-prone state. Windows 11: The Glass Update.
I am not responsible for any ‘Update your Resume’ meetings that result from this. But if you do it, please record the reaction of the first person who shatters their Outlook. ヾ(•ω•`)o
If this was here a week ago I might have rolled this out for April fool’s lol, I’m the domain admin for a small company and I’m pretty sure I could get away with it for the occasion, maybe if I remember next year
Put it in your calendar for next year! The “Lite” version is actually perfect for GPO deployment because it’s a single portable .exe that deletes itself after one “event”. It’s the ultimate hit-and-run prank—no uninstaller needed, just one confused employee and a lot of loud meme audio lol.
I’ve been practicing my “API Abuse” skills and created a desktop toy that gives your windows “fragility” consequences.
The Cursed Technical Details Areeeee:
- The Mouse Thief: To prevent a “teleportation” bug when the window shatters, I’m using user32.dll to send a MOUSEEVENTF_LEFTUP signal. It literally prys the window out of your hand if you drag it too fast.
- The Snapshot: It uses DwmGetWindowAttribute to find the exact frame bounds (ignoring those invisible Windows shadows) , takes a screen capture, and replaces the real window with a WPF PhysicsCanvas.
- The Physics: Each shard is a Polygon shape with its own VelocityY (gravity) and RotationSpeed.
The Chaos (Warning: LOUD Audio): The GIF is silent, but I recorded a short demo with “m e m e” sound here: https://youtube.com/shorts/9bTcgtLpOXQ
The Project Page: If you want to break your own desktop, I put a free lite version on Itch. It also supports custom .wav modding if you want to swap the sounds for your own stuff. https://erza-lotus-arcane.itch.io/please-drag-me-gently
Lmaooo insanely high quality shitpost
Thanks lol! I spent way too much time reading old Win32 documentation just to make a joke app, so I’m glad the “API abuse” is being appreciated yike. 〒▽〒
This is fucking glorious
Glad you like it! My goal was to make the most technically impressive mistake of my career. There’s something deeply satisfying about watching a Chrome window turn into a pile of physics-accurate garbage.
I’m installing the 2$ version on my grandparent’s computer.
Grandpa: “Dear, why did my Excel spreadsheet just turn into glass and scream at me?” 💀
