I feel like crap all the time, and I’m running out of curt answers.
I don’t want to lie and say I’m good just because that’s what’s expected of me, but I don’t want to invite discussion into why I feel poorly.
My go-to response is “Living the dream,” because if this life is a dream I hope to wake up soon. Plus not only is it considered an acceptable answer, it can be played off as a joke.
If anyone needs extra context, being asked “how are you” is an extended part of the greeting here. The asker is really just saying hello still, and although some kind of answer is expected, they aren’t actually curious about your welfare. A genuine response throws people off balance, and is probably unwarranted. Think of coworkers, service workers, or even total strangers being asked this dozens of times a day.
I find this question quite fascinating: Culturally, there are countries where this gets asked indeed as a form of greeting, not a genuine question.
In Slavic countries, I feel like if you get asked this question, it’s generally considered to be of genuine interest, and you’ll get a genuine reply. Nothing offensive or informal about saying “Things are bad.” or “I feel bad.”, or any variant of such.
This might be my perception however, and feel free to correct me. I myself think that if someone asks how I’m doing, I have no need or responsibility to “remain positive/pleasant”.
I live in the US where it is just a greeting, but grew up in a different culture where it is almost always taken literally and isn’t something you ask a stranger. I tend to answer honestly because I want to normalize not being fake polite and I almost always have some bullshit to call out. If you can find something to complain about that other people also hate, it’s a great way to bond around how shitty the world can be. :D
Around here it’s definitely more of a greeting. I wish it was more of a genuine interest because then I wouldn’t feel so weird about answering truthfully when things aren’t great.
The context can make a big difference here. Friends and family are more likely to actually care. With coworkers and customers it’s often better to keep them at arms’ length because a negative response can get you labelled as not a team player, or receive customer complaints.
Some days I worry I’ll be too candid with my employer and I’ll lose my job as a result. That one is probably my own biased perception, but shit, it’s happened before.